My daughter is the SMARTEST

I wrote this post originally on June 12, 2007 on a different blog. I am switching blogs and getting it kicked off with an old post:

"My daughter is the smartest..."
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve heard that phrase uttered by proud parents over the years. I guess it stands to reason that we all think our children are the smartest children that have existed. Before I had kids I didn’t really think twice about what people did or did not say about their kids. Now that I have one, however, I find myself paying closer attention. Anyone else in the same boat?

Recently I asked an acquaintance how her daughter was doing, a general inquiry to see what was new in her life. Her response somewhat shocked me when she blurted “she is so SMART”. I didn’t get “she’s doing great, learning all sorts of new things” or “she is so much fun, she just started kindergarten”, blah blah blah. But the response I got was that she was smart. Huh?
This brought me to write about how we all view our children and the things we decide to share about them to other people. You’re allowed to brag and be proud of your child. Right? If that’s the case then why not just tell everyone how smart your child is, becuase it’s what you’re thinking anyway. But why did it seem so obnoxious to have that be the first thing I heard out of her mouth?

I am as guilty as the next mom about bragging about my child’s wonderful traits. I had an early crawler and an early walker. Aside from the obvious annoyance of having to chase her around at a very young age, I was proud of her being so agile and athletic. When people asked how she was doing I’d say something annoying like “she’s doing great, walking all over the place” and found a way to get it in there that she was more advanced physically than other kids. So I suppose that’s just as annoying as saying your child is doing “smart.”

Is it too generic to sit around and report uneventful things in an attempt to avoid being obnoxious? So when someone asks how Delaney is doing I should simply respond “she is great, such a joy in my life” or “she is teething which is hard”? Or should I tell relative strangers that the best thing about her is her athleticism? I haven’t really found the right answer yet. I think with my closer friends I stick to the more generic items because I will leave it to them to discern what is great about Delaney (and they will find something, right?). For the acquaintances I don’t see very often, and don’t ever spend time with Delaney, maybe I’ll toot her horn a bit more.

Right now I have to be Delaney’s voice because she really can’t speak up for herself (unless you count saying “ball”, “up”, “more” and “milk” as a voice). But it won’t ever be an objective voice. I can look at other children and objectively see their good and bad points. But I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do that for Delaney. Will I ever be a true judge of her character? Probably not, and that’s ok. It’s my job to be subjective about her, and see her world through my eyes.

I am interested to see if you have any thoughts on how we talk about our kids, what we choose to share, and stories you have about other parents sharing about their kids.