When old friends become new...

Sometimes we lose touch with great friends. Maybe your friendship found a lull, sometimes one person moves, and sometimes there isn't a very good explanation for the drifting. There may not be a reason why but we all know from experience it happens.

During the eight years I lived in LA I made some great friends. Some I still keep in touch with, and others are now just memories, frozen in an image I have of them when I left in 1998. Funny how years can pass and you still think of that friend in the same clothes, same car and same life you knew they were living at the time.

One of my "memory friends" was a woman named Sally Horchow. I knew her originally through a boyfriend but we managed to break through to the other side of friendship despite the fact that my ex and I failed miserably as a couple. Sally and I were never best friends, but good friends. We were both single, sassy and loved being social. I think we lost touch mostly just because I moved out of LA.

I was living in Eugene years later and stumbled upon a book called The Tipping Point. Malcolm Gladwell had coined the term "connector" and referenced it to Sally and her father Roger, noting that they had an uncanny ability to connect other people (as friends or acquaintances, not just romantically). At first I was simply thrilled to be reading a book that mentioned my friend, and even better was the spot-on accurate description of Sally's capabilities as a social networking goddess. She was more than a goddess, really, and only those that know her can understand her full power. Maybe you know someone like that in your life... someone who can liven up any conversation, make you feel important, introduce you to other wonderful people and actually teach you first-hand what it's like to be a good friend.

She took me under her wing on many occasions and I am forever grateful to her for that gift. I realize now, in retrospect, that she taught me a lot about generosity, friendships, compassion, and frivolity. Amazing gifts, really.

I recently stumbled on to her website (after accidentally stumbling on to her book at Anthrolpologie) and sheepishly spent a few hours devouring her reading and watching her local talk show interviews to catch up on her life. I thought about writing her, but figured she was really busy, then thought again about writing her, convinced myself she would barely remember me, thought again about writing, you get my drift.

To make an impossibly long story short I DID finally write her to tell her that I was happy to hear she was doing well and succeeding in life. Lo and behold within hours she responded and for the last few days we have been scribbling back-and-forth and catching up on each others lives. It has been wonderful and I'm thrilled that I put all those sheepish feelings aside and just sent her a note to say hello. Within a few hours she pointed me to an old friend of ours who had just moved to Boulder. Malcolm Gladwell sure had her pegged, fer crying out loud.

In a way she feels like a new friend, in that we haven't spoken in nearly ten years and in a lot of ways we are completely new people. Obviously we aren't going to become best friends now but I will make it a point to see her next time I am in Los Angeles. And it's fun to have re-connected, if only to make a little part of your past come alive, especially since they were positive memories.

So I'd just like to throw out a little encouragement to reach out to an old friend (use Google or mutual connections, I'm sure you can find them) and say hello. It feels very satisfying, almost like you just went for a good run and ate a good meal.

(P.S. In trying to help said old friend, feel free to go to Anthropologie and pick up Sally's book called The Art of Friendship. Take it from an old friend... she knows what she's talking about.)