Letter to Garrett on his Third Birthday

November 3, 2011
Dear Garrett,
You just turned three (ok, ok, over a month ago now, but who is counting). We had a huge party here in Moraga with a bunch of your new friends and had a bouncy house, pinata, drinks and yummy cake. A few days later Nana and Pop Pop came to visit and we celebrated again. You loved every minute of attention. We got you a gear toy thingy and a little battery-run truck toy, and the grandparents got you a big wheel. Life is good.

We just recently moved to California and I must say that the move was easiest on you. You took everything in stride and were easy going about the transition. You were amazingly good on the trip out to California and for a near-three-year-old were great about rolling with no sleep and being in strange places.

You are in a new school called The Nurtury, which is located in the Moraga Valley Presbyterian Church. Your Dad and I are not particularly religious people but we both consider ourselves spiritual so we didn't mind that the place that seemed to offer the best environment was a faith-based preschool. You are learning all about God, and Jesus and other characters that I've never even heard of (Zachaeeus). Your teachers, Mrs. Luci, Mrs. Terri and Mrs. Sarah are all amazing and plan outrageously fun crafts and activities every day. We walk in every morning and there are multiple activities to choose from like painting, gluing, smearing shaving cream, etc. It's a great place for you and you are loving your new friends Finley, Camden, Maddox, Sarah, Luci, Shay, Madden and more.

We have seen a more temperamental side of you these past few months than we are used to. Your stubborn side has come out in force and we are hoping that this phase won't last too long. You are often heard saying "no" and pouting in defiance and we are trying to find ways to keep you grounded. The world is not all about you even though most days you think that it should be. There have been an inordinate amount of time outs lately and I hate to say that quite often we have to lock you in your room until you calm down. You are also very fun and loving, and even though some days are very challenging, your sweet side usually comes through and those wet sloppy kisses still come out. I remember going through this with your sister so we are trying to be patient and understand that saying no to you now will help you in a few years, despite the fact that it means BattleStar Garretica most days of the week.

You love playing with your toys and are happy to play by yourself a lot. In times when Delaney is not around you are chirpy, happy and easily entertained. When she is around and dictating play you are usually happy to go along with her as well, but when you are by yourself it's wonderful to see you get to make the choices in your play. You still love your sister but you are combating her more and more as you grow bigger. I like to see you stand up for yourself but I don't like how mean and spiteful you can be sometimes. I'm sure you will work it out eventually but it's safe to say that your sister is your biggest friend and fan, and it's reciprocal.

We are finally making progress on the potty training. You have been ready for a while but have resisted for your own reasons. Just in the last two weeks we have been going without diapers during the day and you are finally having having accidents less and less. This is a HUGE milestone for me and the family.

Halloween just passed and you were Buzz Lightyear as well as Justin Bieber. A lot of people say you look like Justin Bieber so we did it just for fun. You had no idea who Justin Bieber was or why you were in a purple hoody, but it was damn cute.

I love you Bubba. Thanks for blessing my life and making it fun and interesting. Keep on smiling and giving out wet kisses.

Love,
Mommy

Letter to Garrett on his first birthday

Garrett,
I am a week late in writing this letter, but I suspect that in the grand scheme of things you won't hold that against me. Last week we celebrated your one-year birthday at our house in Boulder. It was a very quiet and small celebration attended by me, your dad, your sister Delaney, Nana, Pop Pop and our neighbors the Cutters. We had some fish, mac n cheese and then a lovely chocolate cake that you reveled in smashing everywhere. You received a small selection of toys and gifts from loved ones. The gift you most enjoy seems to be your big ride-on fire truck.

It's hard to believe that a year ago you came into this world, as this past year has gone by very fast. Your sister's first year did not go fast at all. In fact there were many days and months that crept by at a snail's pace. Your first year was by and large pretty effortless for everyone involved. It took me a few months to get into the swing of having two creatures around that demanded my attention. After that I feel like it was pretty smooth sailing. Delaney's first year was like a classical concert where the orchestra is warming up and experimenting with all different keys, notes, and volumes. Your first year was like the beginning of the concert where everyone is in sync. I want to thank you for making the first year of your life a very enjoyable one. It was not only relatively easy, but really fun to watch you grow. You are such a good natured fellow. I just put together a montage of a bunch of photos throughout your first year and it was almost hard to find one where your little cherub round face didn't look pleased or happy. If I had to pick one word to describe your first year I would pick happy. You were happy and the whole family was happy. I think that you made everyone's life around you better.

I'm sure you know by now that you share your birthday with your father. When I first got pregnant with you I immediately looked up our projected due date online and saw a date in late September. The first thing out of your father's mouth was "I bet he is going to come on my birthday." I never thought he was right but sure enough, when my water broke at 8pm the night before your father's birthday, he said "he's not letting me down. He's going to come on the 22nd!" I think it is wonderful that you two share a birthday. I hope that it will be a day where the two of you can be extra close through the years.

You absolutely LOVE your sister. It's been clear from a very early time that she was the apple of your eye. When you hear her voice you immediately turn in her direction. When she laughs you laugh. When she jumps you smile. When she bounces off the walls you watch in wonderment. It also helps that she loves to entertain you and show you the world. I am amazed that you actually survived your first year what with all the "care taking" that occurred. She was constantly trying to feed you, give you presents, show you how something worked, comfort you when you were crying, etc. Some of these had so much gusto that your dad and I would look at each other in fright after we had just rescued you from being carried, or dragged something out of your mouth that she had given you, etc. I have visions of the two of you getting into mischief when you are 5 and 7, and even more frightening when you are 15 and 17. You absolutely love your sister and the love you both have for each other is arguably my favorite thing in life. It brings me endless joy. It brings me the kind of joy that fills up my life jar of happiness with something so solid I am pretty sure it will never get depleted. There is no question that having two children is more work, but watching the two of you interact is so rewarding that it makes every chaotic moment worth it.

I suppose I should mention some milestones. You smiled at 6 weeks. You rolled over at 4 months. You sat up at 7 months. You ate your first baby food at 5 months and ate your first hard food at 7 months. Your first tooth came around 6 months. You took your own sweet time crawling (thank you) and finally found locomotion at 10 months. You have yet to really say a word although you have lots of sounds and love to say "uh oh". You have said "dada" and "mama" but not sure they have a real connection yet. Currently you love pointing at things and you are starting to get extremely interactive. Your favorite game is peek a boo and you have loved that game since you were about 5 months. Peek a book is such a silly little game, but you love it and I find myself playing it with you about once a day.

You have been on two plane rides, the first was to visit Nana and Pop Pop at Christmas. You took your second trip in March to San Francisco San Pancho in Mexico. We went with some friends, the Cutters, Boyds and Smiths. You were the youngest of the trip and did extremely well for most of it (save for a meltdown on the second plane ride home.) We took a long road trip in May to visit Moma and Grandpa in California. You did so well on this trip. It was 36 hours of driving (both ways) and I think you complained for maybe a half hour of the trip. All you had to occupy you were some good things to chew on and toys that make noise or light up.

You were born with lots of hair and I have had to cut it already three times. You love to smile. Your laugh is amazing and infectious. You love to be tickled. You love to be hoisted in the air. You love it when someone you know comes in the room. In fact you love company of any kind. If it's just you and I in the house, it doesn't matter if you are doing something really interesting, if I leave the room you follow me. Your sister followed because she wanted my attention. You follow because you want the company. A room filled with the family is your favorite place. You would never leave a room where all of your loved ones are hanging out.

This letter is definitely making you out to be something of an angelic figure, but there were times where you struggled or made life hard in the first year. You have not been a great eater and have made eating time an utter mess. You love to bat spoons out of people's hands and also love to throw all of your food on the floor. You spit up for most of your first 9 months and I mean a LOT of spit up. Our carpets and furniture will never be the same. And your sleep has been sporadic at times as you refuse to nap on schedule or occasionally do not sleep through the night. And one thing you share with your sister is your extreme pain and fussiness around teething. But most of those things are manageable and I am sure I will forget them over time.

You have been spending a few days a week at the Acorn school with your teachers Debbie and Liz since you were four months old. Just recently you started going full time so that I could go back to school and get a teaching credential. There have been many times when I picked you up at school where one of the staff pulled me aside to say how much they love you and either a), want to take you home, or b), want another child. Heck there was even a brief moment where I thought I might want another one, but I feel so complete with you and Delaney that I couldn't imagine adding another personality to the mix.

You love cars and any kind of toy that has wheels. Your favorite toys over the course of the year were your plastic rings, anything that crinkled, plastic cups, cars, and big items that you could bang to make a noise.

If I had to make a prediction now about what kind of boy and man you will become, I would venture that it will involve your kind and easy going personality. I think you will be sensitive and also a lot of fun. I think you will work with people and find ways to improve their lives. But only time will tell.

I'm looking forward to your first steps and your first words that are just around the corner. And to many more fun games, snuggles, laughs, giggles, and lots of time for me to teach you about the world. Thank you Garrett for being such a cool dude and laid back pal for the last year. I am looking forward to being a part of your life. You're the best, G Love, G Money, Garretty, G-rific, Geej, and Bubba.

Dear Delaney, age 3

Dear Delaney,

Yesterday you turned 3 years old. We had a party for you on Saturday and just about everyone in your life who you enjoy was there. We were missing family, and a few friends who couldn't make it, but all in all the people who bring you joy came over to celebrate with you.

We were supposed to have your party at the park, because we thought it was only fitting that our park girl would celebrate there, but Boulder brought out the rains and thus we had to move it to our house. There were 14 kids under the age of 4 in our house and lemme tell you, it was a sight to be seen. I think you were thrilled to have so many close friends over to share in your day.

On your actual birthday we had Gabe come over to watch Garrett so your father and I could take you out to breakfast. You were in heaven getting to spend time with the two of us all by yourself. Although you never even commented that you were enjoying it, or mentioned the lack of your brother, it was clear you were having fun. You also spent the day in the backyard with the whole family, running in the sprinklers, blowing bubbles, at the park with me and running around with Finley.

The last few months have been a bit rough as you have tried in many ways to push us around with your strong will and temperament. I think we hit the high crescendo when Moma was here helping me during dad's recent trip to China. You were not happy that she was here and you would not let her help you in any way. You complained about most things going on in your day and generally made life difficult for everyone. As a result I bought about 6 books that try to help parents through the toddlerhood phase and I am in the middle of my second one. I think by reading them I am gaining a little bit of an understanding about where some of your behavior comes from and I am trying to watch you closer to get to know you better. Sometimes I have a tendency to rush to frustration but I am doing my best to really understand the Delaney inside and what makes you tick (and explode, incidentally). I think the bottom line is that you are a very strong willed, opinionated, stubborn, active, perceptive and strong girl. That is never going to change. You have been that way since you were born and it's about time I figured out how to nurture that better so we don't go to battle as much as we have been lately.

I must admit I do love your spirit and energy. I am constantly amazed by it, and I also really love and admire it. I don't have that and I am glad you got it. You have been the absolute best big sister to Garrett that I could imagine. You are kind, helpful, nurturing, funny, and a great companion to him. Maybe things will change once he starts moving around but I hope not. I love the generosity you show towards him and it really is one of the things I enjoy most in life. In fact we noticed yesterday that he lights up more for you than anyone else in the world. He loves you because you are so nice to him.

Your athletic abilities have started to come shining through as you have taken a liking to dribbling a basketball, kicking a soccer ball, and hitting balls with your baseball bat. Bike riding is coming along as you have progressed a lot on your scooter and Skuut bike (bike with no pedals). We were in Mexico recently and you nearly learned to swim. You can propel yourself but haven't figured out how to stay up while you lift your head up. I predict this summer you will really learn to swim. You are quite an athlete. I see lots of sporting events in our future. Also you love all of the equipment at the park... the slides, big girl swings, monkey bars, jungle gyms, tunnels, diggers and more. You can spend hours at the park at not blink an eye.

Your favorite foods have changed a bit recently and I wish I could come up with a long list of foods that you enjoy, but the sad truth is that you are getting more picky by the day. You like chicken, hamburgers, sausages, hamburgers, quesadillas and bread. You will eat some veggies and most fruits, but it saddens me that very often you sit down to meals and only eat three or four bites.

Your favorite toys are your musical instruments, puzzles, Play Doh, games and your cars. The Memory Game is your favorite game and you continually amaze us with how good at that game you are, and how you play (and win) with such ease. You are not particularly into your dolls or stuffed animals, although occasionally you will pick an animal to join you in your bed for the night. Mina blanket, super Mina, and Mina pillow are all still very important to you. I am glad we have multiple versions of those and we swap them out regularly so that they will last longer. One little polar bear (actually he is a lamb) named Jeeky Deeky came around last summer and has been sleeping with you ever since. Most days at home you carry Mina and Jeeky around with you everywhere you go and they sit under your dinner table chair while you eat.

Television is not too important to you, although you do like Sesame Street and have warmed up to a few movies like Madagascar and Finding Nemo. You would much rather play with an adult or go outside. Your inability to sit still is obvious as you roam around the family room while you watch TV. I fear that you will struggle in school due to your "fidgetyness".

Jasper is still your closest friend and has been so for the last year. You also love to play with your other schoolmates, namely Cecil, Abilene, Nella, Eben and Gaby. Kids from my mom's group are also fun, especially Spencer and Kyra. Finley, your neighbor, is a regular playmate especially when the weather is nice. Playing nice with other kids is a strong suit and always has been. Sometimes you play the role of "beat up kid" a little too much but we are working on how to stand up to behavior that you don't really like.

We bought you a shirt about a year ago that was "Little Miss Chatterbox" and nothing could be closer to the truth. You are always talking. You make astute observations and chatter on about anything and everything. Your vocabulary is wonderful and you pick up phrases and words so quickly. Yesterday we were walking home from the park and we briefly lost your basketball in some bushes. I looked at you and said "uh oh" and you said "wait Mommy I have a plan!". I had to chuckle. My three year old had a plan! And you did... I would hold the bushes back and you would climb in. Classic Delaney.

Your teachers at school say that you are very easy going at school and always game for any game or activity. Your imaginary play has increased as you regularly lead your classmates in pretend games of swimming, house, cooking, etc. You do the same thing here and I love it when you bring me some strange object and tell me it's "chocolate" or "bananas" when it is nothing like those things. And just agreeing with you isn't enough as you stand there and make SURE I enjoy and eat what you have brought me.

I think this year we will have some kind of turning point in that maybe I will figure you out a little better, learn how to react appropriately and you will figure out life a little bit more. I hope so, although I am trying to enjoy the precious time that is toddlerhood and the really cute moments that happen. Just a few minutes ago you walked into our room and said "are you almost done working Momma?" and I said "yep, just a few more minutes". And then you said "ok, I'll come back and check on you in a few minutes and make sure you don't need anything". So cute.

Thanks for being you, Delaney, and for forcing me to be a better person everyday. I feel like I will be invincible once we get through your childhood because you are teaching me SO much about myself and the world. Delaney, Laney, Laneyloo, Bug, Bugalicious, Laneybug, Bugaboo, Laners and D. Happy 3, my whirling dervish.

Love,
Mom

Happy 4 Month Birthday G Love

January 22, 2009

You turn four months old today. Wow. Your first months here have absolutely flown by so quickly it definitely makes me a bit sad.

I am writing you this letter, and hopefully lots of future letters, to help you understand what you were like as a baby and child. My parents have some memories of me as a child but I think I would have liked to know more about my life as an infant. If my current memory is any example, I need to write this all down or you will never know what it was like to be you as a baby.

Where do I start? You came into this world very peacefully and you were absolutely gorgeous. You were fussier than I would have liked in your first month, especially in the first two weeks, but you were still a lot easier than your big sister and for that we were grateful. I will try to avoid making your letters a list of comparisons as to how you are different (and ultimately easier) than your sister, but since our only frame of reference was her, it's important to note that you have done almost absolutely nothing like your sister did.

Your grandmother, Marilou, who likes to be called Moma, came out to Colorado a few days after you were born and stayed for two weeks. She was amazing with you and helped me so much. I hope that you will get to spend lots of time with her as you get older because she is an amazing person. She nurtured you, rocked you, held the pacifier in your mouth and stayed up all night long with you to help me out. She really loves you and it warmed my heart to share you with her in those first few weeks. In fact, even though the first two weeks of your life were absolutely miserable for me on a physical level, I don't ever want to forget it because my mom and I were a team taking care of you. It brought us closer and her a lot closer to you. In retrospect it was a very special time.

You have also spent a fair amount of time with your dad's parents, Nana and Pop-pop. They came out to visit you pretty early in your life and we went to see them in California at Christmas. They love you so much and are amazing grandparents.

I had hoped that you would sleep in our bed or room for at least the first 3 months of your life, as I had this vision of you and I bonding over cuddles and sleeps. But you were content to be awake at all hours of the night so I had to sleep elsewhere with you in order to not keep everyone awake. And then at four weeks of age I hit my limit of only sleeping only a few hours a night and I had to put you in your bassinet and retreat to my room without you. To this day you are still a very noisy and restless sleeper and having me around you doesn't make it any easier on you. And once I get sleep it's much easier to be a good mommy to you all day long so I think we learned early on that you did best sleeping by yourself.

You struggled with nursing at first, and specifically with latching on, but eventually got the hang of it. You have always been a very efficient eater, although a lot of what you eat tends to come back out throughout the day. You are somewhat of a geyser in that you are always spitting up or drooling. You used to puke a lot too, but once I stopped feeding you on both sides that stopped, thankfully. Very often we both spend our day covered in your spit-up. I know it's not very glamorous or interesting, but you need to know that a lot of my job over the last few months has included finding ways to keep us both dry.

The most important thing I can tell you about your infant life is that you are generally a very happy and easy-going little boy. I am hoping this continues throughout your life because I think I needed a mellow second child to counteract the whirling dervish that I produced first (your loving big sister, Delaney). You love to smile and it is SO easy to get you to smile. It doesn't matter if it's me or someone at the grocery store, if someone is showing you a smile you almost always smile back. And your mouth gets huge when you smile, into this big round O and even the most Grinchiest of Grinches would have a hard time not being happy looking at you when you smile. I absolutely love that you smile so big and so much. And you even laugh this cute little noise that is almost like you're sucking back in your breath. But it's clear that it's a laugh.

Along the lines of laughing, you are extremely ticklish and sensitive to the touch. One of the easiest ways to get you to smile and laugh is to tickle your chest and belly. You seem to love it and I also love that you laughed this early. Your sister didn't laugh until she was almost a year old and it worried me to no end. But not you... my little happy guy.

And as far as the easy-going thing, well, the best way I can describe it is that you are always ready to "go with the flow". You had no problem being carted around anywhere and everywhere that your sister wanted to go, sleeping in the car, sleeping in your stroller, sleeping in your car seat even after we pulled it out of the car. Different faces and caretakers do not seem to phase you. Wet or poopy diapers don't bother you. Being left alone in your Gymini to kick and swing your arms is fine with you. I think one of my biggest challenges with you is going to be making sure you get enough attention since you don't call out for it very much. We'll need to have a talk with your sister about that one...

You seem to be a pretty good sleeper too as you take great naps during the day and are starting to put in very long stretches at night. A week ago you did your first 12-hour straight mark and I was thrilled. Good sleep for you, good sleep for me, and everyone's happy!

There are a couple of things that I really want to remember from your early days and they are so precious that it makes me cry to even think of them. Somehow, early on in your life, I got in the habit of holding hands with you when I am feeding you. Obviously not conventionally like adults do, but you will grab ahold of my thumb or second finger and grip it very hard during the whole meal. You wave your arm around but you still keep ahold of my hand very tightly. Now you will even reach for it as soon as I lay you down to nurse as I think it has become something of a habit for both of us. In the middle of the night your hands get very cold and I love that over the course of the 20 minutes I spend with you that I feel your little tiny hand warming up on mine. It's such a simple thing, I know, it probably sounds so inconsequential to you that I'm focusing so much on this little thing. But I love it. I look forward to it and it melts my heart every time we do it. I feel like a part of my soul is coming through my hands to you. A little bit of warmth, a little bit of love and a lot of comfort. I know that's dramatic, but I feel it and it's real. Maybe it's because babies are so helpless and very often they don't respond or communicate in many ways. Somehow I feel like this is how we have best communicated over the last four months. By holding hands.

One other thing is that you do this adorable, cute, and precious thing where you sigh these contented breaths when you are close to done nursing. It lets me know that you are almost done and also I can tell that you are content. It's peaceful, rhythmic and really really cute. It's one of those things that I didn't pay much attention to at first and probably didn't even notice for a while. But after a while I started noticing it and now I find myself looking forward to your sighs. It strikes me as an All Star Baby Noise, almost as good of a sound as your laugh.

And lastly, I love how you kick and swing your arms. It's not angry, or frustrated, or because you are frustrated that you couldn't be doing more. It's one of the ways you show your happiness. By kicking and waving your arms. You often do these little fun grunts while you are doing your exercises and I love that too.

There have been tough moments in your first months, like, a severe lack of sleep for me, gas pains for you, diaper blow-outs, puking, fevers, colds, ear infections (thanks Delaney!), times where you had to cry because I had to do something for your big sister, times where you had to be carted out in the Colorado cold to run an errand or visit the doc. But it has been an absolutely amazing first few months with you. I cherish every bit of time I spend with you and most days I do not feel overwhelmed at having to care for you (I have a tendency to feel overwhelmed, so that is why this is significant). Days pass so quickly when it's just you and I. I didn't even crave a break or escape to go work out (VERY unlike me). Taking care of you is an absolute joy. I feel thankful that you are here in my life and very, very blessed.

I have this little underlying suspicion that you and I are going to be very close. Certainly a different kind of closeness than I have with your big sis (not better or worse, just much different). I can already tell it will be different. But I think and hope that our relationship will be wonderful, warm, loving, and deep. At least if these first few months are any indication, it will be that way.

Here's to you Garrett. G love. Little G. Little brother. Little kicker. Spitty-up-ickus. I love you with every little piece of my heart.

Love,
Mom

Dear Delaney, Month 33

January 26, 2009

Dearest Delaney. Bug. Bugaboo. Little D. Laney. Laneyloo. Laner. Bugalicious.

You are 3 months away from your 3rd birthday. I haven't sat down to write you a letter since before your little brother was born and I thought this was long overdue.

Your brother was born about four months ago, and I am not going to lie to you, the transition was very rough on you. It was actually pretty rough on all of us, but you and I seemed to take it the worst. I think there is a definite link between you and I not taking it well. You were not happy about the disruption to your world and I could not give you the love and attention you needed which then made it worse. Your father stepped in and pretty much took over everything for you, from the start of your day until the end of it. I was not sleeping very much and I spent much of Garrett's first month feeding or pacifying. All of my waking energies went to him and keeping him happy and fed. There was pretty much nothing left over for you and I apologize for that. I knew that deep down it would be good for you to have another member of the family to share time with, but you were not happy in those first few weeks. There were a lot of tantrums, time-outs and tears. You were always loving and gracious towards Garrett, but your anger and frustrations with us were very obvious. Your dad, one of the most patient people I have ever met, was occasionally pushed to the very limit by your behavior.

Thankfully we seem to be past that and you are much happier, I am getting more sleep, and able to devote more time and energy to you. I am not going to go as far as saying that I can match your energy, but at least there is a little bit there to give you. Which brings me to your energy. You are one of the most energetic kids I have ever known. You never stop. Your only relaxation comes when you are sleeping or watching Sesame Street. Otherwise you are going, going, going. Not just moving, but aggressively moving through life. Some of your favorite things are bouncing on beds, dancing, hopping, running, and playing chase. Your father and I had an in depth discussion the other night because I had called you a "spaz". He disagreed because he though spaz meant "mindless" in some way. But to me a spaz is someone who has tons of energy and has trouble figuring out where to focus it. That's you. But I love it and I'm pretty sure that most of my smiling moments come from watching you zoom around our house. There are actual dirt marks on all accessible walls in our house from you literally bouncing off of them. It has been made VERY clear to us that you are going to need to be active in your youth. Me thinks there will be a lot of soccer and swimming in your future.

It needs to be noted that you have become an extremely helpful and loving big sister. You genuinely seem to like your brother despite the fact that he can't do very much with you. Every time I ask you get me a spit-up rag you gleefully find one for me. And if he needs a hat you will run and go get it without me even asking. The same with a blanket. You love climbing up onto his crib and peeking in on him. There have been a few times where you have climbed all the way in there so you could lay with him and hold his hand. It's beyond sweet and cute and just absolutely warms my heart to see you nurture and care for him. If he's crying you run over and tell him it will be ok and gently rock him in his seat or swing. You're so small and yet so much love can come out of you. It makes me shed a tear of happiness just thinking about it.

One of the things that seems to make you the most happy is when your father and I are happy. You are continually asking us if we are happy. It's sad and endearing all at the same time. Sad mostly because if you have to ask me I'm probably not doing a good enough job of showing you how happy I am. Or gosh, maybe you are astute enough at 3 years old to know that maybe I'm not really happy. And it's endearing because it seems like you have developed quite a sense for trying to please.

We will be driving in the car somewhere and it will be completely silent and you will say "are you happy mommy?" and I will say "yes, Delaney, I'm happy". And then you'll say "really, REALLY happy?" as if you don't believe my response. If you do something that upsets either one of us you will immediately ask if we are happy because you can see that our demeanor has changed. If I tell you no then you immediately try and fix the thing that is making me not so happy. Not a day has gone by in the last two months where you haven't asked one of us if we are happy. It just dawned on me that I haven't really asked YOU if you're happy. I'll try to do more of that.

Your diction and vocabulary continue to astound us. Just yesterday you went to Cost Co with your dad and when you came back our exchange went something like this:
Me: Delaney how was your trip to CostCo?
D: Good! I got a hot dog and a smoothie for lunch.
Me: Really? Great! What did Daddy buy there?
D: For lunch he had something different, but similar.

The fact that you even know "different but similar" amazes me. And the other day you said, in response to one of Ellie's loud meows, "boy is she demanding!" I'm pretty sure demanding is not in most 3-year old vocabularies.

Your father went on a business trip last week and it was the first time it seemed like you understood the passing of time and meaning of him being gone. Every night when we would get home an overwhelming sadness would come over you because your Dad was not there. After inquiring about it and finding out he would not be home that night, you would sulk. We were on an errand the other day and out of the blue you turned to me and said "Mommy I miss Daddy because I love him so much". I hugged you and told you that I missed him too, but that sometimes he would go away for work and we would get to have quality girl time. And when we called him on the phone the other night, you asked me to give the phone back to you so you could say one more thing. "Daddy, please come home tomorrow because I miss you." I can only imagine the melting that occurred on the other side of that phone line.

I have been trying to figure out for about a year now if you are going to be a "mommys girl" or a "daddy's girl". Sometimes it seems like you prefer him and sometimes you prefer me. I know you absolutely love the energy that he gives you and quite honestly there is no way that I can match it. And I suppose I don't want to because it's your thing with him. You are always being swung, tickled, tackled, flipped, and spun around by your dad and you LOVE it. I am not sure if there is an equivalent thing that I provide that he doesn't, but my guess it would be nurturing, books, and a general "providing". I think I like that you seem to prefer us equally and thrive in your own way around each one of us. And the thing I like best is that you are actually the most content when we are ALL together.

You are still learning a lot at your school and this pleases us immensely. You have become quite the yogi, practicing yoga twice a week with the older kids. And the teachers are helping you with numbers and the calendar. You can count to 20 pretty easily but often get hung up around 14. You can recognize about 10 letters with ease and are close to zeroing in on the other 16. You recognize most animals and your song repertoire grows every day, in part thanks to Amy and the music program at the Acorn.

Food seems to be a bit of an issue with you as you seem to prefer carbs over all other kinds of foods. There are plenty of meals where I am concerned to see that you have only had 3-4 bites of food and are content to call it quits. Everything I read tells me to just keep feeding you the food and you will come around. We try not to force things on you too much, but you have such a tiny niblet body that it worries me. So far I have not caved and started feeding you fried food or pasta every night.

The last thing I need to mention doesn't really involve you directly but it's very important. Last week our country swore in a new president. He is not just any president, though, and I want you to know a bit of history that occurred late in your second year. Barack Obama is our first African American president and I find him to be the most inspiring public figure that I have ever known. He is taking office at a generally tough time in America, to say the least. The economy is weak, almost crippled, we have been fighting a war for over five years, and in general people are discouraged. Homes are foreclosing, jobs are being lost and every day the death toll of our US soldiers grow. The news is very frequently depressing. But then came this man from Illinois who had the moxie and fortitude to try and change things. My sincere hope is that he can. They said that the moment when Barack Obama was inaugurated would be one of those "where were you when" moments. Like the Kennedy assassination or the Space Shuttle disaster. Since you will likely be too young to remember, I'd like to tell you that you were at your classmate Lucy's house which is just down the street from the Acorn school. You all walked there holding hands so you could watch it together. Your teachers said you were all very quiet and listened very intently. I was in class myself, doing my part to fulfill President Obama's wish that we all do our part to make this country a better place. I am going back to school so that I can help children learn and also to give me a schedule that allows me to be home when you are home. Both of those are things that will help this country and I'm proud to be doing my part.

My wish for you is that we build this country to be even better than before and you can fulfill your wishes and dreams here. I want only the best for you because you deserve. It seems like you will demand the best out of everything in life.

I love you Delaney bug. And when I am with you I am really, really happy.

Dear Delaney September 2008

Dear Delaney,

You are roughly 2 years and 4 months now and I thought I would write you a letter because you have changed so much in the last few months. You are doing so many things and bringing us so much joy, it only feels right to record it in a letter.

We are approximately three weeks away from the arrival of your baby brother and it seems like you are starting to understand that there will be another creature arriving very shortly. You are still sleeping in the baby's room but you fully acknowledge that all of the decorations, gadgets and toys in there are for your baby brother. I know the transition is going to be very rough for you and I am bracing myself for the disappointment and tantrums that will inevitably come when you realize that you are not our only baby anymore. It makes me a tinge sad to think about it but I know in the end it's going to be so good for you and my hope is that you can be as close one day to your brother as I was with mine growing up. You are going to be an amazing big sister and I can't imagine a better little girl to show our little boy the ways of life than you. I fully expect and want you to show him how to live life since you have no trouble doing so yourself. You show your dad and I how to do this every day. I have no doubt that you will push him to be more daring, exploring and rough and tumble. You will talk endlessly to him and eventually hug and show him true affection like you do us.

One of the things I love best about you right now is the tone and intonation of your sing-song voice. It's so innocent and cute... many times a day you confirm something that we say by cheerfully saying "yeah!" in the cutest most innocent inflection. It makes me smile every time you do it. Your dad and I find ourselves talking about you all the time even when you are not in our presence and have already gone to bed. A lot of times it's when you're right there too. You'll say something hilarious, surprising or cute and we will just look at each other and smile.

Your vocabulary expands exponentially every day and I am in constant amazement at how quickly you pick up words and at how your grammar is improving. I will correct your verb tense one day and you will use it correctly the very next day. If we laugh or relish in a funny phrase that comes out of your mouth, you will continue to do it so you can see future smiles on our faces. One of our favorite moments recently was when we were driving up to Maine and we told you there was a chance we could swim in the hotel pool. Your enthusiastic response was "yeah, we should do that, guys!" Now you use "guys" at the end of a lot of sentences because you knew it made us laugh that once.

Finally we are starting to get real stories from your days at school during our dinner time chats. I have been asking you about your days for months and usually I get the standard "good". Now you actually volunteer information that I think is sometimes accurate. I love it.

Your temperament with other children is wonderful and I daresay it might be one of your best qualities. You are generally giving, accepting, sharing and kind to others. When others are using aggression and frustration with you, you try your best to avoid the situation. We were extremely dismayed to hear that you had actually bit a classmate the other day at school. I know a few of the other kids have been biting regularly for months (as evidenced by the bite bruises and marks you occasionally receive) and a few of the other kids there have taken to showing emotions through aggression towards other kids. Stacey and Melinda tell us that your bite response was in defense and response to some aggression you were receiving from another kid. That doesn't make it excusable and I can only hope that you will not continue to respond in a negative way. We usually only observe you hugging and treating your kid acquaintances with respect.

You have a passion for life and exuberance that never ceases to amaze me. You routinely zoom around our house with your balls and toys, seemingly bouncing off walls in excitement. I think sometimes it could even be assumed that you have more of a boy temperament, but I prefer to think of it as a spunky girl personality.

Your nighttime sleeping abilities are still wonderful and we are now bracing ourselves for the loss of our morning sleep-ins. I stopped using the monitor a while back and recently have turned it on in the mornings to find that you actually are awake surprisingly early every morning. But you are content to be in your crib, whisper to your babies, stuffed animals, and mina blankets. I appreciate your willingness to do this every morning and it only validates our decision to provide you with a separate room in the short term so that you can have your own space to chill out. Your naps are getting shorter and are usually somewhere in the 1-2 hour range. Which I suppose it ok considering you still sleep an average of 12 hours a night.

You are still nowhere near close to being potty trained. You show no interest in going on the potty when we ask you and for now I am content to keep you in diapers. I think I will make a harder push if you don't show natural signs by the new year.

We love you so much and I am pretty sure we tell you that multiple times a day. You are not a snuggle bug kid and sometimes I wish you were, but that doesn't mean we don't regularly get hugs and affection in the way you know how to show it. We are looking forward to growing more with you as we become a family of four.

Love,
Mom