The summer of love

We have been having a wonderful summer. Aside from Kev being gone for two straight weeks, and him being sick for a good portion of the summer, our summer has been one of the best in recent memories. My stress load lifted by about 3000% in May and it's made life pretty peachy around our house.

Our days have been filled with painting, chalk, bike rides, trips to the pool, Meadow Music concerts, Pearl Street fountain trips, dinners out and about, picnics in the backyard, games of catch, playdates, runs, hikes, lazy mornings, coffee (for me, obviously), gymnastics, soccer lessons, the farmers market, dog fetch outings and so much more. And I can do it all by myself and WITHOUT Kevin.

Sometimes our days are so wonderful it's all I can do to not start pinching myself and wondering when it will be over? When the snow comes? I have to knock on wood after I type just about every one of these words, but Delaney has been a downright lovable and fun little girl all summer long. Her tantrums and fits have been fleeting and manageable. She has been saying please and thank you more. She gives out hugs all the time. She agrees. Really. She has agreed to do *some* things that I suggest. I'm not kidding... really... one or two times I have suggested a plan and she willingly went along! She tells me repeatedly how much she loves me and how much she loves spending time with me. Just the other day we were laying in her bed with the lights out, as we often do just before her bedtime, and she told me emphatically that "today was a great day, Mommy". I know that seems simple. But I know she meant it and really DID enjoy her day. She and I are having actual, real, genuine fun together. I have come to the conclusion that I'm not sure she and I have ever really had longterm continual fun together. Ever. I guess it's sad to admit it, but it's true.

I tell ya, this parenting is something else. One day you are losing your mind from fighting the 100th battle of the day about the color of a barrette, or lack of barrette, or too many barrettes, or whatever F'ING frustrating quirk about a darn barrette. I mean really... when you get pregnant and think about having kids, you generally plan to lose a lot of your free time. But you really don't picture yourself fighting about barrettes. Over. And over. And over. Again. I really don't even care about barrettes. I just want her to MAKE UP HER NETTLESOME LITTLE MIND ALREADY AND LET'S BE DONE WITH IT. If it's not the barrettes, it's the cereal, the bowl, the cup, the clothes, the book, the TV show, the way to the park, the right side of the blanket, the right animal, place to eat, and, well, I think you get the drift. Mindblowing, mindnumbing, mindexhausting and just plan losingyourmind. More than one occasion I have sat down with my head in my hands and been downright devastated about the life of battles that lay ahead of me. Battles that I don't care about, don't want to fight, and just want to be over already. Just TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT and let's go have fun. (Phrased that way it's probably enticing enough to make any kid jump for what you want. Right?)

Then you get a little window into the future and a little breather from the insanity. I know "they" say often that you are not given more than you can handle, and lately I feel like they just might be right. Just when I think I'm at the end of my rope, someone throws me another couple feet of it as if to say "here... we see you are working your *ss off, why don't we cut you some slack." It wasn't a moment too soon, really, as in May I felt like I might have to move out, assume a new name and never return to our house in Boulder. You could see new wrinkles developing in my face. I felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. In body and spirit. But the gods of "we're going to screw with you up until you blow" have quieted and we are having an amazing summer. I will always remember the summer of 2009 as one filled with laughter and fun. THIS is what I pictured. And I'm actually getting it. Could it be true?

Don't get me wrong. I still can't pick most things that touch or come across Delaney in a given day. Just yesterday I said "ok, I'm going to pick out your outfit for tomorrow" and Delaney RUSHED over to the closet with lightning speed and said "no, no, no, Mommy, don't you know I am the only one who picks out the clothes?" Ah yes, of course, and to which I replied "sigh, just once, can I pick out your outfit?", and she said "one day, Mommy, but not anytime soon." Which is fine with me I suppose as long as we can get on with it and start having some fun. :)

Passed the Praxis

I can brief a sigh of relief, as I passed my Elementary Ed Praxis test. Phew. I really did not think that I passed it and am glad that even though I know I didn't get a lot of questions right, I still got more than average and therefore received a passing score.

Check one off the list!

Simplifying, stage 1

Since being in school and working last January, it is an understatement to say that I struggled to keep up with my life. Every single part of it. I decided as a part of my quest to become a better Courtney, that I would break my life up into chunks and work on each chunk.

Today we'll be talking about the chunk of life that is staying in touch with others through the internet. This can include email, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc. I have always been a fairly reliable responder to emails that come my way and usually try and put effort into the response (i.e., not a "life is busy, how are you" type of email which I have to admit drives me a bit crazy).

So today I have started my simplify mantra by CLEANING OUT MY INBOXES. I had no idea how good this could be for the soul. Ok, Type A personalities probably won't feel the rush quite like I have in cleaning out an inbox, but if you get a high in the slightest from things being organized or clean, DO THIS TODAY.

It started simple. I looked through my Comcast inbox (I also have Yahoo, Facebook and CU) and noticed there were 140 emails that I was waiting to do something with and were lurking at me every time I logged on. I glanced through each one and wrote down categories. I then created folders (I do this at work, why I haven't really done it on my personal email is mindboggling) and moved a whole bunch of things into hidden folders. Then I deleted a whole bunch of things that I figured I really just didn't need hanging over my head (sorry to anyone who hasn't had a response from me lately). Then I took action on some that couldn't just be filed (pictures I wanted to download and put into iPhoto). It took at least an hour.

Now I have all of 2 emails in my inbox. It's positively orgasmic. Really. I should have done this long ago. Next step is cleaning out the other inboxes and then onto other chunks.

Also pretty recently discovered that I can write updates to this blog and set them to go on different days. So when I get an hour or two a week to write down thoughts I can schedule a whole bunch of posts to go out later. Genius.

Amen to simplicity plan, stage 1.

Newsweek's Fifty Books of Our Times, also a Bad Mother book review

I have loved books and reading for a very long time. Which is why I took great interest in Newsweek magazine's recent list of "50 Books for Our Times." I love these kinds of lists. Mostly I love to look at them and make plans in my head about reading them all from start the finish, in numerical order. But it never happens. I think once I tried and started reading Virginia Wolff's To The Lighthouse and had to re-consider the erudition of such list-makers.

But this list was a bit different. It's not a "Fifty Best Books Ever" list, it's a list of books we should read TODAY. Not because some professor told us to 20 years ago, but because they are relevant, they apply and are interesting.

So naturally I tore it out and made immediate plans to read every single one. In numerical order. But something caught my eye in the mid-20's, and it was a book called Bad Mother by Ayelet Waldman.

I had heard rumblings about this book in another mag and also was intrigued by the cover and quote that talked something about how none of us can live up to the "Good Mother" moniker. So I quickly scratched my plans to go in numerical order and decided this one was first.

And I must say, I am extremely pleased that I did so. I am not sure that it's a book that everyone should read, though. I think it's great for mothers, and great for mothers with a sense of humor, and great for mothers who appreciate honesty and a search for becoming a better self.

First off I had no idea that Ayelet Waldman was married to Michael Chabon, one of my favorite authors. Points for Ayelet! And I had no idea she was the one who became infamous for a NY Times piece where she defiantly announced that she loved her husband more than her kids.

I highly recommend this book if you're looking for a quick read about motherhood and one woman's choices and foibles. It's not quite like the dry humor of Dooce, or the anger of Crabmommy, or the poignancy of Anne Lamott's Operating Instructions, but it's relevant and real. There is a chapter on making a choice to keep or abort a potential Down Syndrome baby that is crazy-as-all-get-out honest. I have no doubt she sucked readers in through the first few chapters and lost a whole bunch when she started talking about killing her baby. I admire her courage, I really do. There are funny parts and parts where I do and don't see myself in her. But as I move through this process of motherhood and search for ways to improve, it was a nice side-trip into someone else's world. We are not in this alone, my good mothers.

I recommend picking it up if you get the chance. And if you live in Boulder, let me know, I can lend it to you.

Now I should really start to think about getting back to #1 on the list.

On the move

Garrett has started crawling.

I'm very sad about it.

We were just getting into a groove, darnit! Now I'm going to be chasing that little bugger around everywhere, pulling cat food out of his mouth, and Delaney's toys, and pieces of paper, and dog chews, and you name it.

Couldn't he stay put until a year?!?

Growing Up, Mom

Yes, that's the masthead and name of this blog. But it took on a different meaning the other day.

We had gone to the doctors office because G Love was a serious crankypuss for a full two days. Cranky at breakfast, in the pool, in the bathtub. You name it. It was abnormal. So figured I should pay someone $25 to look in his ears. Which they did, and they were fine, although completely filled with earwax.

Given my solo stint due to Kevin's travels, Delaney had to accompany us to the doctor. It was an impromptu appointment and this is a girl who does about as well at impromptu as I do at brown nosing. But, she didn't even blink when I told her where we were going and how we were going this very minute. She was great. She pushed Garrett in the stroller, sat patiently and waited for the doctor, waited for the nurse to prod his ears, waited for a lot of stuff. She actually waited. Hallelujah. She F'IN waited.

We were in the elevator going down after the appointment and I said "thank you Delaney, for being such a good helper, and being so patient, and being such a fun person to be around."

And no shit, she looked at me, and said "yeah, I'm growing up, Mom."

I patted my heart and said "darn right Laneybug, darn right."

Roomba product review, also titled, why I love Johnny

Last summer we took our every-other-year trip to Maine to visit my parents. They had been raving about a new purchase they had made based on some recommendations from different friends. It was the new robot vacuum... the Roomba.

I was intrigued, curious, and skeptical, and as a result immediately set out to watch it work throughout their house. I studied it intently and was impressed with how it moved about the house picking up pet hair and the like from every corner of the room. If you want to know the truth I couldn't get enough of watching that darn Roomba. Here we were vacationing in a beautiful spot and all I wanted to do was watch the Roomba do it's magic. Did it really work? Was it as easy as it seemed? The advertisements are full of quotes from women saying "it is great, I come home from a hard day at work and my house is clean!" How can you not at least pay a little attention to a claim like that? After studying the Roomba for days, and it's impressive skills, I decided we needed one and politely requested that it be our birthday and Christmas gifts combined (Kevin was not a participant in this decision and I admit that it wasn't entirely fair to throw out this offer).

For various reasons we didn't get the gift in our possession until our recent trip to California. By now the magic and allure of the Roomba seemed a bit removed and while I was excited to get it, I wasn't quite chomping at the bit like I was last summer. So it sat in the box at our house until I decided about a month ago to set it up and get it charged.

Then I curiously set it to work in our main living area and watched it slowly work it's way around our house. I was annoyed and perturbed that it kept getting caught and stuck on things. I would set it down and think "ok, cool, my house will be clean soon" only to come back two hours later and see it wedged under our ottoman, likely only minutes after I had left it to do it's work. This happened repeatedly for the first few weeks of use. Every time I set it to work it knocked something over or got stuck. Ugh. This was not exactly "set it and forget it" technology. I was annoyed. Our model Roomba comes with two sensors that you can place around your house at doorjams and other areas you want to deny access to the robot. I didn't even think we would use them at first but after all of the sticking and wedging I figured out that they were a necessity. So I got to work using the sensors and reducing the space the Roomba could roam. And moving certain items so they wouldn't knock. And so on and so forth. And slowly but surely I started to see it work.

Early in the process of using the Roomba, Delaney and I decided that the vacuum needed a proper name, because, well, Roomba just doesn't sound great. So we named him Johnny. Roomba will now heretofore be referred to as Johnny.

Let me tell you about how my opinions of Johnny have changed. I love Johnny so much that I want to hug it just about every day. That little robot gets such a workout cleaning our house that not a minute goes by in my house that I'm not using or planning the next Johnny session. It's amazing. Really. Once you get it dialed in and working effectively in the house, it really will reduce your vacuuming headaches and needs by a large percentage. I think conservatively it's reduced mine by 95%. Given that we have two young kids, are about to go down to a single income stream and the endless frustration at a messy and unkept house, I really think Johnny is the best invention for moms anywhere. Not to mention the pet hair. Oh the pet hair! It's friggin everywhere in our house.

But the dialing in process takes time, and even after you have it down pat, there are still surprises and disappointments along the way. In the first month I highly recommend only using Johnny when you are near and can make sure it doesn't get stuck. You really have to commit to using Johnny every day to make it worthwhile.

Let me just talk about a few things that Johnny can NOT do effectively. During my old vacuuming days I would vacuum the dog beds and couches on occasion to remove some of the lint (in addition to lint brushes and such). Johnny will sadly never be able to do it. I had to laugh at myself as I set Johnny down on Lucy's bed in the hopes that it would run, trying to trick it with my fingers to let it know it was a hard surface. No such luck. And Johnny is not great in a dining room with lots of chairs. Also anywhere that there is a surface that is 4 or so inches high (Johnny's height) as Johnny repeatedly gets stuck under these places. Our TV stand, our ottoman, the dresser in our bedroom and a few other places fall into this category. You also have to remove a lot of throw rugs and any other loose items (i.e. toys) or Johnny might get stuck trying to suck them into his vortex.

And I find that Johnny is most effective when put in relatively small spaces to work it's magic. You definitely cannot set it to go throughout the whole house because it will only barely clean certain areas. But given the chance to bang around back-and-forth in a small space and it will get clean. Surprisingly clean. And the more obstacles you can move out of his way (especially chair legs) the better your house will look.

Johnny has his merits, though, and I have to say that his ability to get under spaces that are 5 inches and higher is wonderful. He vacuums under our bed. And under dressers. And the piano bench. And the crib. And the lounge chair. And so many other places that never see a broom or vacuum unless you move furniture. Love it, Johnny! As a result of that, you need to run Johnny like mad at first because his battery life is relatively small when working in spaces that require deep cleaning. I ran Johnny every day in our bedroom for about 7 days straight and only on that seventh day did I notice that he was finally getting ahead of the game and had removed most of the deep dirt in those never-vacuumed spots. Johnny runs for about 45 minutes at a time and it takes him that long to do one big space (our room and bathroom, the kitchen, both kids rooms, etc). Conservatively I would say I run Johnny twice a day. Most days I run Johnny and then anxiously stare at the battery censor to see when he's back at full speed and I set him going again. My life is now very in synch with Johnny's.

As a sidenote, both of our pets hate Johnny and scurry from his presence. The other two creatures of the house, Delaney and Garrett, LOVE to watch the little slideshow of Johnny moving through the house. In that first week it's pretty classic entertainment for kids.

And Johnny is best at hardwood floors. He cleans carpets well enough, but unfortunately with our carpets (relatively high pile) a more powerful vacuum does a more complete job. Also worth noting is that you have to empty the Johnny canister after every session.

I do feel a bit like a Johnny commercial when I come into my bedroom and see vacuum tracks and a clean floor (done without any human labor) and plop with great satisfaction onto my bed and say "thank you Johnny". One day the floor looked so good that Kevin said "did you finally cave and vacuum our room?" and I pleasantly replied, "no, our little robot did all the work." I have had many "commercial moments" when talking and thinking about Johnny.

I also think that those with two floors would find it hard to manage Johnny in all areas because of the lugging. And it would have to work a lot to clean a large square footage of house. But for one floor or a small house like ours, it is completely and totally the bomb. Thank you inventors, for finding a product that truly is a help to the endless battle of house cleanliness. If you are reading this and don't have a Johnny, please consider putting it on your next gift list. Or just go by one yourself tomorrow. I think Target sells them now. I assume you're going there at least once this week, right? You will soon find yourself in a friggin' vacuum commercial rolling around your floors positively giddy that you did not have to do ANY labor to make it that clean. Johnny is a mom's must have.

So, yeah, that big hairy two-headed green slimy oozy monster of life that tries to beat me down on a daily basis with too much freaking cleaning... you can SUCK IT.