The disposable society

My mom often accuses me of being a leader of the disposable society. I assume this society consists of mostly Gen X and Gen Y'ers. Since electronics and technology were rampant in our youth, we are used to the idea that when something breaks you replace it instead of repair it. I think we're used to it because we know that after years of bringing in DVD players and cameras for repair, we understand that the cost quoted to fix the problem is often close or just as much as the cost to completely replace the item.

We have had particularly bad luck with our digital cameras over the last four years. For whatever reason various functions on the cameras have rendered them inoperable and repair costs have been so astronomical that we have had to buy two completely new cameras. I try to tell my mom that I don't WANT to just replace the camera, and that I actually grew very fond of our Pentax and then subsequently our Fuji, but how can you argue with spending just as much to repair a camera that is a few years old when you can get cutting edge technology for less than what you spent two years ago?

Here we are today forced with a decision to DISPOSE or REPLACE a number of items in our house. Our DVD player simply won't work. I don't know why but it no longer reads any DVD's. I could go to the trouble of unplugging it and taking it in for repair, but when new DVD players are $60 I know realistically that is probably a waste of my time.

And worse, my iMac computer seems woefully out-of-date. I won a new fancy schmancy iPod a month ago at work. I tried to get it up-and-running but it turns out I need the latest software on my Mac to make it work. So I figured, what the heck, I'll go buy that Leopard software that is supposed to be wonderful. I guess I failed to notice that in order to install Leopard I need a computer that can accommodate a ridiculous amount of memory, something my 2003 iMac falls short on. So now I have an iPod, and the $150 Leopard software, that can't work on my iMac. I can go to an Apple store and have some additional memory installed for $150. A sidenote that needs mentioning is that my iMac has been running suspiciously like a PC for the last year and seems to crawl around doing the most mundane of tasks.

So I know what you're thinking... why not just buy the memory and get your iMac able to run all your new toys? But wouldn't you at least pause to think that it makes sense to actually buy a whole new computer? My computer is four years old (arguably old in the computer world), it crawls around at a snails pace, and can't seem to accommodate any new peripherals or software I want to buy. Will the new memory be enough to hold me over for another few years?

One thing I will be doing for sure is buying a new DVD player, because in order to make my Netflix subscription worth anything, I need to start watching some DVD's.

But what to do about that pesky computer.... replace or repair.

So, what is a BLOG?

I have sent my blog link out to family and friends and most of the younger generation understands what it is and the goal of the blog. The Baby Boomers have a hard time understanding the exact concept, although can usually find a way to navigate around the site.

People start blogs, or weblogs, for a variety of different reasons. Some have political agendas, some want to make money and some just want to update their friends. First and foremost I'd like my blog to be a a place to record my thoughts. It's my web journal and a place to release my thoughts on parenting, motherhood, Boulder, friends, pets, etc. What "they" say about about time flying by once you have kids is true. I feared that one day I would look back and forget some of the hardest and most rewarding moments of our life. If people happen to come and read my thoughts then so be it. I guess in a sense it's my "green" journal. I don't have to waste the paper of a real journal. (Hmmm... but is the power used to create my entry on my computer worse than cutting down trees?)

If I can draw attention to my site and somehow get someone to pay me to write, or post, or sell items from my site, then it's a bonus. But it's not the goal. I think in order to do most of those things you have to have a quality blog with a loyal audience. Getting both of those is not as easy as it sounds.

Once I started this blog and poked around to other blogs I realized there is an inordinate amount of tools and sites dedicated to optimizing your blog. Once you click on one link it seems to lead you to another site and before you know it there are 10 new widgets and tools on your blog. I started at a site called Digg (a very cool concept I was introduced to at my current job), and was quickly sent off to other interesting sites like Blogroll, Google webmaps, feedburner, payperpost, blogher, zimbio and a whole host of others. Blogging really is a world of it's on on the web. Don't even think about going to these sites unless you want to commit a few hours of life to blogging education.

There is also a whole host of vocabulary that goes along with blogs, and these sites, which is overwhelming in itself. I won't even get started because you probably aren't interested. But the Web 2.0 sites (most of the sites listed above can be considered Web 2.0 sites) and features are exciting.

What I am asking from you, my reader, is that if you like what you read, send me a comment. If you like it enough to tell someone, put a link to my blog on your site. If you like a certain post, click the little Digg icon on the bottom of the post.

You can now subscribe to the best blog ever

I've added a link in the bottom left hand corner of the page to subscribe to my blog. I am not 100% sure what this means for you (I think you get emails or can add the RSS feed to your Google or Yahoo home pages), but try it and let me know how it goes.

Bottle her up...

This morning as Kevin and I were getting ready to leave the house for our daily grind, Delaney started putting on an "attention show", which she has taken to doing quite regularly lately. By this I mean she finds some behavior that gets her positive attention and repeats it over and over with slight variations. I know kids clamor for attention in many different ways and during the toddler years it is very often disruptive behavior. However, by some light-shining miracle, we happen to be witnessing a wonderful stage where she is asking for attention in very positive ways.

Delaney has a very cute pink and white checkered hat from last summer that she has taken to pulling out of her dresser and wearing around the house. It barely fits but she likes to put it on her head, find one of us, and show us the hat. Sometimes she puts on top of her head, sometimes on the back, and sometimes pulls it way down over her face. Very often she cleverly leaves a tiny bit of her eyes showing and proceeds to purposely bump the coffee table, couch, walls, just gently enough that it's hilarious yet doesn't hurt her at all. We find this display hilarious and are happy to give her some positive attention for a silly game that doesn't break any house rules and doesn't hurt anyone. How did that little brain decide that it was funny to walk around the house like a zombie?!?

There are a whole host of other behaviors that are happening right now which bring us endless smiles and joy. Just to name a few, she has taken to doing roll call for everyone in the room, hugs for everyone in the room, kisses for everyone in the room, peek-a-boo, hide-and-seek, etc. It seems that her ever-growing vocabulary is enough to bring her joy. Just this morning she pointed out "Mommy coffee" and "Daddy coffee", which seemed to make her happy.

When Delaney was born I found it hard to not start looking forward to her next stage. When she was fussy, or teething, or throwing crazy tantrums, I kept thinking about growing OUT of the current stage and into a better one, or at the very least a new challenge. I would find myself wishing that things would be better for her, or me, or all of us, once "something" was over. Maybe it would be better once she started sleeping through the night, or once she could talk, once we could eat out at a restaurant at a normal pace. Of course it doesn't take you long to figure out that it doesn't really matter what stage they are in as children, there will always be a challenge or a worry in the next stage. My mom still says she worries about her kids and we are both married with kids of our own.

Living in the present is one of those skills that parenthood forces on you or you will go insane. You get slapped over and over with reminders to just live for today, and know that all of those silly little problems like sleeping through the night will eventually go away.

In Delaney's current stage I can honestly say I am relishing every bit of the present, and who she is right now, and I am thrilled that we are all in a very happy and easy place. I am still a little bit amazed that we just finished a week long trip away where she was, dare I say it, a dream kid. Kevin recently traveled to California for the weekend and Delaney and I had wonderful fun the entire time he was gone. I didn't once think it would have been nice to get time to myself for a few hours.

Kevin looked at her this morning with her pink checkered hat and said "Bug, we need to find a way to bottle you up right now and keep you in this place for a while". I guess the only way we can really do that is to take pictures, video, and write about how much joy she is bringing us right now. Hence this post.

Returning from a week away

We returned Saturday evening from a wonderful week spent in Arlington, Virginia, with Kevin's family. Our trip was filled with wonderful food, laughs from the kids, great weather, sightseeing, interesting restaurants, slow-paced breakfasts (my favorite kind) and lots of great chatter.

Delaney got along famously with her older cousin Mary and had some fascination with her other cousin Kevin (since he is 10 months he couldn't interact quite as much as his older sister). She learned everyone's names (despite some obvious pronounciation errors) and continues to do roll call for everyone she met on our trip. This morning she was drinking her bottle and right in the middle stopped abruptly and said "Cabin (for Kevin), Tia (her aunt), Uncle and Maaaaawy (Mary)." She went through this roll call about 4 times before going back to her bottle. It is almost as if she doesn't want to forget them and keeps saying their names so she will remember their smiling faces.

All things considered Delaney did great on the planes. The one exception was kicking the seat in front of her, which is really hard to avoid when you put her in the car seat on the plane. As soon as the person in front of you reclines their seat there is almost no hope of keeping her feet off that chair. I sheepishly admit that I am looking forward to the DVD era on planes. One day traveling will be much more calm when the lure of the Lion King and the Little Mermaid are there to keep her company.

Sidenote to airplane traveling is that buying a seat for your toddler is definitely, completely, absolutely, without a doubt worth the money. My stress level for the trip was very minimal knowing that we had the space to keep her distracted instead of having her squirm on my lap.

For the first time we tried the GoGo Kidz car seat stroller adaptor which worked pretty well. I think it's not specifically designed for the Graco Comfort Sport seat and instead works better with the Britax models. We chose to bring the Graco because it is a smaller seat and we thought it would work better on the plane. I think in retrospect the better product might be the straps you can buy to put the car seat on your back. I think the biggest issue is hauling the seat through the airport, which along with a stroller and a toddler can be very cumbersome. As long as you have two people I think the back straps would be the way to go, and they are cheaper than the car seat adaptor.

This was the first travel trip with Delaney where it felt like she enjoyed herself being somewhere new and was somewhat aware of her surroundings. She adapted well to different sleeping situations and life-on-the-go and was generally in very good spirits the whole time. She is in a great stage and seems thrilled to be communicating with adults. I had a lot of proud moments watching her move throughout our trip and grow up a little every day. Kevin and I regularly find ourselves chatting in bed at night recounting all the ways in which she dazzled us that day. It's a good time to be Delaney's mom.

I have lots of other thoughts and musings on our trip which I will share over the course of the next month. For right now I'm catching back up at work and at home. Looming is the fact that we have a leak in our shower which may cause us to re-do our entire bathroom floor. I am hoping that doesn't have to happen.... keep your fingers crossed.

That's SO Boulder...

We moved to Boulder 3.5 years ago and there is nary a day that goes by that something "Boulder" about Boulder strikes me. I know that may sound strange to someone that doesn't live here but for those that do you probably understand exactly what I'm talking about.

I have lived a lot of places in my life, most of which were in California. There is the bay area, where I grew up, and then many different places in Southern California. Since I am a UCLA alum there were plenty of LA abodes, namely Westwood, Brentwood, West LA and West Hollywood (probably my favorite). Then also brief stints in Hermosa Beach and Newport Beach. There were aspects about all of those places that made them unique, but they were few and far between. There were the "Chanel zombies" at South Coast Plaza and Fascist Island, the faux beach bums of Hermosa, boutique shopping in LA, etc. But in all of those places it's more of a Californian generality than personality traits that make a city unique. A lot of money, sun, cars, expensive real estate, malls, pools, tans, great restaurants, etc.

This will no doubt be the first in a long ling of musings about Boulder. There's no way you can sum it up in one post. I have grown to like this town very much, and I feel like if we could just import an ocean here and if someone from our family would move out here, it would pretty much be the perfect town. Well, ok, and if there were just a smidgeon more diversity that might help too.

Last night I went to the Boulder Nordic Club Ski Swap and Sale. I have been wanting to learn to skate ski and figured I could get some good deals on equipment. Sample sales, or warehouse sales, in Boulder are crazy and they seem to happen everywhere. Having been to the GoLite, Pearl Izumi, Rocky Mountain Kids and the Boulder Twins Club sales, I can tell you firsthand that it is a mind-blowing experience you should try at least once in your life. It's mayhem to the fifth degree. For whatever reason it seems like Boulder likes sample sales because they happen all the time.

This is where I'll make my first sweeping generality of Boulderites when I say that this town is chock full of Type A personalities. What's life like if you can't make sweeping generalities about people, right?

Now I'll make a follow-up observation that sample sales and Type A personalities create a lethal combination. People everywhere scrambling to find that awesome deal on some piece of equipment that they really did not need before they entered the sale. But it's really about the competition of finding that athletic gear at such a super bargain. I would guess that maybe half (and I'm being generous here) of the people who attended that sale went with a specific purchase in mind. I was in a room full of athletes and wanna-be athletes excited about a bargain.

I've learned a few things about these sales and have acquired some rules about how to get through them that I'll hold off on sharing because I feel like it will just contribute to the mayhem. Posting rules about how to get the most out of them would just be feeding the fire, right?

Every time I go to a sample sale I feel like I'll never attend another one. But last night here I found myself again digging through used skate ski boots like I was a child diving for pennies at the local pool, or trying to find easter eggs in my parents living room. At one point I had on size 8 boots and a women approached me and said "are you going to actually BUY those?" with a longing look that said to me all I need to do was give her the ok she would have bent down and stripped them off my feet.

In case you were curious, it took me the full amount of the sale (2 hours) and 4 sales people later to leave with some pretty fancy skate ski equipment that hopefully will last me the rest of my life. Ok, that might be optimistic, but I can't bear the thought of going to another one of those sales. At least that's what I tell myself...

Zee plane, zee plane!

We are about to embark on a little trip to Arlington, Virginia for Thanksgiving. We leave bright and early on Saturday, and a few years back the prospect of a trip like this would thrill me. I wouldn't pack until 10pm the night before, I'd be busy planning lots of trips to museums, monuments and maybe even theater. How things have changed.

Now that I have an 18-month old who has proven herself to be very difficult on planes, my excitement about the trip is somewhat diminished by the stress of having to travel all day with a toddler. As one of my friends so eloquently put it, we are flying in the "no fly zone." Once I get there it will be fine, and we've survived a few other plane trips already, so I know it's only a momentary stress that WILL pass.

One thing we did do to alleviate some stress is to buy her a seat so we have a whole row. But we still have to keep her relatively still and quiet for three straight hours. Egads, I can barely do that at home for 5 minutes. I've been spending all week compiling tons of new and fun activities to occupy her on the plane, in addition to a bunch of food-like crap that I would never feed her any other day (chips, lollipops, etc). I'm sure people will look upon my crap-ingesting child with some judgement but honestly it just doesn't matter to me. If a lollipop gets her through landing then she is more than welcome to have a lollipop.

I am excited to see Kevin's family, especially my niece and nephew, one of which I have never met. My parents will also be close and Thanksgiving day will no doubt be chaotic and merry. I am looking forward to the swirl that three children will add to the mix.

Now if we could just get through that plane trip.

The Life of Mina

MINA. Mina is our daughter's beloved blanket. It's a small little blanket (pictured on the left column of the homepage) that she has slept with since she was 6 months old. I liked offering her a security item as I'd read and heard that children often do well when they have an item that brings them comfort through their young lives. I really thought it would be harmless.

Sometime around 1 year she started calling it "Moyna". We don't know why. Recently it has morphed into "Mina". Sort of like "Mine" with an "a" on the end. Is it her way of just saying it's the one thing she knows is hers?

Mina is now so treasured that Delaney wants to bring it everywhere. Literally everywhere. It seems like the more I want to limit her bringing it places the more she wants to bring it with her. Shocker.

This might be a good time to remind everyone that Delaney was an extremely fussy young infant. She had a lot of trouble in her first few months and I'm convinced it was just a reaction to a world that was o-so-very-overwhelming to her. So you would think that any item that could bring her comfort would be welcome in our house. Until it became the super crutch.

There are times when she asks for it and it seems lost, causing a momentary panic and frantic search around the house. When it is discovered the reunion it brings is monumental. Very few things bring that kind of reaction with Delaney. I do love that it brings her happiness.

The downside is that when Mina is in her immediate possession she is a different child. She zones out, puts her thumb in her mouth, and doesn't interact with any surroundings. That's when I started limiting it's use and now the battles have begun. At first I only wanted her to sleep with it but that became too hard to bear. Now the only rules are that Mina doesn't leave the house and she is not allowed to eat with Mina. Mina has a special place before mealtimes and she promptly puts in her place and pats it for good luck when she leaves.

It has become ultra clear that Mina will be with our family for a long time to come and the signs of wear are already happening. An interesting sidenote is that we have 3 versions of Mina and she does not seem to prefer one over the other. Sometimes she finds one of the other versions and exclaims gleefully that she has "two minas", often accompanied by a "two mina" dance.

So, security objects for children. Do they really help them or do they stop the child from being able to process tough situations? I know Delaney is not the first child to have a super crutch. I also have no doubt that she will not need to bring Mina to her first High School class (at least I would hope).

So I'll just let her enjoy Mina for what it is to her and hope that the happiness it brings outweighs any crutch issues.

Inspired

I've been inspired to chronicle our life more faithfully. There have been a few inspirations for this move to internet community. The first is one of my favorite blogs online by a mother in Salt Lake City. It's called Dooce. The other is my friend Kathy's blog, just started a few months back. Kathy lives in San Francisco and I live in Boulder. With children in tow and busy lives we rarely find ourselves able to catch up and talk on the phone like we used to. But I find myself visiting her blog every now and again to get the quick picture of the Hass abode.

I am resolved to write more, update more, and keep in touch. But realistically I know that regularly calling all of my faraway friends, or sending them individual emails, is hopeful at best. Maybe if I put it in one place it will be easier to skip the generalities and then focus more on quick personal communications with my friends. Maybe, just maybe. Time will tell.

I have a lot to share on motherhood and my daughter Delaney. There is a lot I want to write and keep to tell the story of her life. Realistically will she want to know what she was like at 18 months? Probably not until she has kids of her own, but I promise to do it more just in case.

I started a blog about 6 months ago but I didn't like the interface as much and therefore struggled when I visited to update my posts. So blogspot is my new home... along with Delaney, Kevin, Lucy and Ellie.

My daughter is the SMARTEST

I wrote this post originally on June 12, 2007 on a different blog. I am switching blogs and getting it kicked off with an old post:

"My daughter is the smartest..."
I can’t even count the number of times I’ve heard that phrase uttered by proud parents over the years. I guess it stands to reason that we all think our children are the smartest children that have existed. Before I had kids I didn’t really think twice about what people did or did not say about their kids. Now that I have one, however, I find myself paying closer attention. Anyone else in the same boat?

Recently I asked an acquaintance how her daughter was doing, a general inquiry to see what was new in her life. Her response somewhat shocked me when she blurted “she is so SMART”. I didn’t get “she’s doing great, learning all sorts of new things” or “she is so much fun, she just started kindergarten”, blah blah blah. But the response I got was that she was smart. Huh?
This brought me to write about how we all view our children and the things we decide to share about them to other people. You’re allowed to brag and be proud of your child. Right? If that’s the case then why not just tell everyone how smart your child is, becuase it’s what you’re thinking anyway. But why did it seem so obnoxious to have that be the first thing I heard out of her mouth?

I am as guilty as the next mom about bragging about my child’s wonderful traits. I had an early crawler and an early walker. Aside from the obvious annoyance of having to chase her around at a very young age, I was proud of her being so agile and athletic. When people asked how she was doing I’d say something annoying like “she’s doing great, walking all over the place” and found a way to get it in there that she was more advanced physically than other kids. So I suppose that’s just as annoying as saying your child is doing “smart.”

Is it too generic to sit around and report uneventful things in an attempt to avoid being obnoxious? So when someone asks how Delaney is doing I should simply respond “she is great, such a joy in my life” or “she is teething which is hard”? Or should I tell relative strangers that the best thing about her is her athleticism? I haven’t really found the right answer yet. I think with my closer friends I stick to the more generic items because I will leave it to them to discern what is great about Delaney (and they will find something, right?). For the acquaintances I don’t see very often, and don’t ever spend time with Delaney, maybe I’ll toot her horn a bit more.

Right now I have to be Delaney’s voice because she really can’t speak up for herself (unless you count saying “ball”, “up”, “more” and “milk” as a voice). But it won’t ever be an objective voice. I can look at other children and objectively see their good and bad points. But I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do that for Delaney. Will I ever be a true judge of her character? Probably not, and that’s ok. It’s my job to be subjective about her, and see her world through my eyes.

I am interested to see if you have any thoughts on how we talk about our kids, what we choose to share, and stories you have about other parents sharing about their kids.