A spider, mommy!

Last weekend, out of the blue, it seemed that Delaney developed a real fear of spiders. She has known what they are for a while and has been keen to point out the spiders on our walls when she spots them. And she loves the itsy bitsy spider song.

My friend Tasha was over for dinner last weekend and happened to venture into the guest room with Delaney to do some coloring. And a few minutes later I guess they both noticed a spider crawling on the wall near them and Tasha tried to pick up the spider and put it away because she could sense some anxiety. Well, the spider fell, and they couldn't find it, and about 5 minutes of drama ensued with full tears and wails that sounded something like "spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider" sniff, sniff (repeat this about 10 times).

We got her calmed down but whenever she would steer towards that room she would cry again and come running to me. Even three days later she was talking about the spider when we'd go in there to color.

In a strange weird coincidence, on Tuesday I received an automated email from Babycenter (where they tell me about what's normal and what to expect about this age of toddlerhood) that says "HAS YOUR TODDLER ALL OF A SUDDEN DEVELOPED AN INTENSE FEAR OF SOMETHING (like spiders or water)?". My goodness yes, how strange, maybe the internet really does know everything.

I anxiously read the article which talks about acknowledging the fear but doing your best to convince them that the spider is gone and won't hurt them, etc. I had already been doing this, because I realized that I couldn't in good conscience say that spiders are silly things to be afraid of when I have a mild-to-severe fear of spiders myself. Kevin is still called upon to kill or remove spiders in our house. I don't think I've ever displayed this fear in front of Delaney but I'm starting to think maybe I did? Or maybe it's genetic? Is that possible?

Tough love

I recently realized that I generally tend towards the "tough love" mentality of getting through problems. This is in a large part due to the fact that my parents were that way, and their parents were that way. For example when Joe or I would get a cold, we would get little to no sympathy for it and were told to grin and bear it. We were given Ginger Ale, a blanket and we were expected to get over it. There were little to no check-ups to see how we were progressing, hugs to make sure we were feeling ok.

When I met Kevin I remember telling him one of my goals as a parent was to be a little more nurturing and not quite as tough love. And while I feel like I succeed at being warm, and nurturing, to Delaney I also feel like I put out a fair amount of tough love vibes as well. When it comes to playing with her food at the table, or wearing what she wants to wear, I can be quite the stickler. I don't know if that's tough love, or displine, or a mindset.

But it makes me wonder how I will be with Delaney when she get sick as a teenager, or when she faces her first problems with boys, or girlfriends, etc.

How much tough love is too much? Does tough love teach you to solve problems yourself, but not ask others for help? I don't have answers, but it's definitely interesting to think about.

Delaney and the Dentist

Delaney had her first dentist appointment last night. "Appointment" might be a little bit of a stretch, as it was really more like a "drive by". The assistant walked her into the room and immediately showed her the ballon attached to a little plastic choo-choo train that was to be hers at the end of the appointment. Maybe this tactic works for most kids, but she DID seem a little upset that the balloon was not immediately hers, and couldn't understand why we were all telling her she had to wait.

She and I both sat on the chair while they raised it, lowered it, and repeated it a few times. Then she was presented with a bunch of various tools, the air blower, the water dispenser, the scrubber, etc. She was very WARY of all of the dental tools and was clutching me pretty hard. The doctor then came in and asked her if she could count her teeth. It was a bit of a struggle but Delaney let her do it with a bunch of breaks in between.

I received the terrible news that she has one molar that has yet to poke through. I really thought all 4 of her molars were all coming in right now and that we would be done in another month.

Hopefully the last one will be ok because it's only ONE tooth. I can hope, right?

Baby is healthy and growing!

Joyce nugget #2 seems to be progressing well, I had an appointment today and everything went great. We were slightly nervous at first when the doc couldn't find the heartbeat with the doppler, but as soon as she pulled out ultrasound we saw the little nugget with the fluttering heartbeat and all was well. I think it's official... we're going to have another baby!

Kevin and I went out to lunch afterwards to celebrate, which was a treat. I feel like we have been so cautiously optimistic about this pregnancy that we haven't really CELEBRATED it yet. I think we're finally there. We even started talking about names.....

I am thinking it's a girl, I think Kevin is really hoping for a boy (but thinking it's a girl as well, to keep his hopes in check).

Today is a good day.

I know a LOT of other pregnant women right now as well. Some of my closest friends are pregnant (ones who live in Boulder and some who don't) which is really fun. I think I know 5 women who are within 4-5 weeks of my due date.

Bruin hooptey hoops

My Bruins take on the Oregon double this week. Thursday's game seems easy, as it's the flailing Oregon State Beavers, to date winless in the Pac 10. But even though it may seem like a lock you have to take every game seriously in the Pac 10.

Because, let me set this straight, the Pac 10 is the best basketball conference in the country. Yes, that's right all you ACC and east coast bias people, YOU CANNOT ARGUE THAT WE ARE THE BEST.

I'm excited for Saturday's game against Oregon, and thankful that we are back at Pauley for these games.

Hoops are getting exciting and my team is good. I just wish it would make the weather nicer in Boulder. Can't good UCLA hoops permeate goodness into all parts of my life? Is that too much to ask?

Transitions

Delaney seems to be having trouble with the transitions in her life. She has developed an extreme aversion to taking off certain items of clothing. It starts with her pj's in the morning, and moves to jackets, sweatshirts and shoes throughout the day. We have to bargain with her in order to remove her shoes for her naps. And it's best to start the process at least a half hour before the naps so that we can move through some bargaining and she can get used to the idea of being shoe-free for at least 10 minutes before she goes down for her nap.

For about a week she was wearing this fuzzy Old Navy fleece hat for the entire day (naps and all). It was an amazing sight because this is the child that has refused to wear hats from the very beginning of her life. All of sudden now she is throwing a major meltdown when I want to take it off?!?

Also she doesn't like to leave places. Leaving home, leaving school, leaving the shower, leaving the bath and getting in the car are all things that seem to upset her greatly. Sometimes I'll use a cracker to appease her, or her stuffed Elmo doll, but sometimes we just need to go and there's not much I can do to comfort her. She sits in her car seat, or on her changing table after her bath, and just cries and cries. Tears stream down her face and she seems genuinely distraught that I've made her leave something.

I've started giving her time warnings to let her know more in advance when we'll be leaving somewhere and exactly what that entails. We had lunch yesterday at Noodles and Co right by our house, and I started talking about leaving about 10 minutes before I had any designs to get in the car. What I forgot to mention was that we were actually going to be getting IN the car. I was amazed at how happily she lept down from her seat to leave, only to realize that she thought leaving meant running all over the parking lot in between cars. Ha. I guess I need to be really specific with her about what "leaving" means.

I am thinking there is a good chance that Delaney will be one of those kids that is so dead-set on wearing what she wants to wear that she will go to school in cowboy boots, a tu-tu and a pajama top. I can already picture it.

Valentine's and videos to Grandparents

This video is a re-cap of her Valentine's Day.



This is Delaney saying hi to Nana and Pop-pop


Now she says a little hello to Moma and Grandpa

Our California trip

We are so excited about our upcoming California trip. Delaney's school closes down for Spring Break, and since I get the week off from school, we decided to book a trip to San Diego to see family and friends.

The first weekend I will be visiting Joe, Janet, Lucy and Bailey. I'm excited to see their house re-model and also excited to see the cousins play together. The last time they saw each other Delaney was only 5-6 months old so I'm eagerly anticipating the fact that they will be a lot more interactive together. I know Janet is furiously planning Easter morning egg-hunting activities, which will no doubt be hilarious.

And then on Sunday we will move on and visit with Jo and Bob. Kevin and I are both curious to see their neighborhood and surrounding area since the big fall fires scorched all of those homes and land. And Delaney can't stop talking about their "hot pool" and how she wants to go in it with Pop Pop.

On Tuesday Kevin and I are jetting off to Cabo for 3 nights of R&R, without Delaney. Jo and Bob have again graciously agreed to watch the little munchkin for us while we get some relaxation time. Mexico won't quite be the same without drinking (for me) but I am very excited to read some magazines, books and sleep in. We return to San Diego on Friday and return back to Colorado on Sunday. All in all I will be gone for 9 days. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Almost as important as all of the above family items is the fact that we'll be in sunny and warm California. Yeah! Yahoo! Yippee! I added a countdown on the left hand side of this blog for the vacation. Can you tell I'm getting desperate?

Jenny's Light

I wanted to take a break from regular posting to mention a great new foundation that has been set up to help raise awareness of post-partum disorders. If you have ever known anyone that has experienced PPD, or you have gone through it yourself, you know how hard it is on a new mother. For some reason I feel like there is a still a large percentage of the population who dismiss this condition, and don't think it's a real disorder. Any awareness we can bring to the condition is a good thing.

This email below came from a good friend of mine, Becky Gibbs, who recently lost her twin sister and 6-week-old nephew to PPD. I did not know Jenny personally, but by all accounts she was an amazing happy spirit who shared joy with everyone around her. The Gibbs and Bankston families are still in my thoughts.

<<<<<<
Friends,
I just wanted to let you know that www.jennyslight.org is now up and running. It is just a static webpage for now, including the logo and some information. We will be expanding on it soon. Please check it out and pass it on to anyone you can. We hope that with this site and foundation we will be able to increase awareness about postpartum disorders and help save lives.

I have sent this to just about everyone in my contact list and I realize many of you receiving this may not even know what happened… please go to http://www.legacy.com/TheAdvocate/DeathNotices.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=100003217
>>>>>>>>

Jabber, jabber, jabber, jabber

Little Delaney is a jabberer. When we are at home she is constantly talking. It seems like she never stops. Sometimes it's jibberish, but most of the time it's words and phrases she knows or thinks she knows. She has a constant running commentary on her life, what she's looking at, what she wants, or what others are doing around her.

I find communicating with her is one of my huge joys in life. Sometimes she is simply repeating exactly what I ask of her, but a lot of the time there are real exchanges of information that are letting me get to know her as a person. It's wonderful.

We'll be sitting on the couch reading and she'll say something like "Laney get up, find another book." To which I usually reply "great, be sure to pick out a good one." And then she'll march over to the bookcase and say "Laney get a good one!"

During dinner preparation last night Delaney ran into the kitchen and just screamed "QUESADILLA." We weren't making her quesadilla but I think she hoped that if she told us loud enough it would come true. And I am finally starting to get answers about what she is doing at school and what she eats for lunch. I love that she communicates with me so well, and so clearly.

I have also noticed what are some cute little OCD tendencies where things have to be exactly in the right place at the right time. Blankets need to be in a certain place, Elmo stuffed animals need to be present and things JUST SO.

Funny sidenote story, when my mom was visiting recently she somehow got to a place where the two of them would do exercises on the floor. I'm not sure exactly what exercises they did together, but now Delaney likes to lead BOTH mommy and daddy in group exercises with our workout towels (actually cloth napkins) laid out perfectly in front of us. Her favorite exercise is downward dog and then the pose where you lift one of your legs and swing it over the other side (a good hip opener). She also loves to spin around with her arms outstretched, and sometimes will lay on her back and kick her legs all over the place. She absolutely loves that we will follow her in these exercises and it has now become a family ritual. What a sight we are all on the floor following Delaney's silly antics.

My California bones are cold

Newsflash. I live in a cold state. The first two years we lived here it wasn't that bad, but the last two years have been miserable. Last year we were inundated with oodles and oodles of snow. This year it's been snow, mixed with days-upon-days of cold weather. There have been two week stretches where it didn't get above 35. That's FRIGGIN' COLD!

I'm sure it will please my California friends to hear that I REALLY miss the sunshine state these days. I am craving the beach, the ocean, the warmth, the smells, the green. I am sick and tired of the wind, snow and cold.

I think this has really been the first time since living in Colorado where I feel like I want to move back. How is it possible that I am SUCH a weather wimp?

Funny sidenote is that everyone in Colorado RAVES about the weather. They are consistently commenting on how good the weather is here. Where the heck are they from originally? Minnesota?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?

My Colorado caucus experience

My lack of political knowledge came bubbling up a few weeks back when I got a call from the Obama campaign asking me if I was on their team. I said that I was pretty sure I would be, and they said "great, see you at the caucus on February 5". And I said, "Oh yeah, I'm definitely planning on going to vote, I always vote!" To which she replied "Ok, I'll see you at Whittier Elementary at 6:30pm". And I said "You bet", hung up the phone, and thought HUH? I can only go vote at 6:30pm? What the heck is this CAUCUS thing?

After poking around a few websites, it appears that a caucus means you go into a big community room at the same time with a bunch of your neighbors and ALL VOTE TOGETHER. Wow. Now I definitely had to go. How could I miss this? I get a huge kick out of large group dynamics (like All Hands Company Meetings) and this sounded like it would be rife with dynamics. Turns out I was right!

I got there at 6:30 and it was immediately clear they had severely underestimated the space needs for this group. It was standing room only with people lined up outside of the school gym. They started by saying what an outstanding turnout they were getting all over Colorado and laid down some ground rules, as they assumed most of us hadn't ever been to a caucus. To which my initial thought was "hm, did everyone else move here in the last 4 years?" I then surmised that maybe it was George Bush that brought everyone out of their houses, but I found out in the paper today that Colorado has never been on Super Tuesday before, and therefore we didn't MATTER as much.

We could expect to be there for at least 2 hours. The most important rule of the night was that all votes from our site had to be called in by 8:55 pm or our votes wouldn't count. We would remain in the big gym for the ground rules and then some speeches on behalf of the candidates that were to last no longer than 2 minutes a piece. These "speakers" were somehow chosen by the Clinton/Obama groups, I'm guessing they lead some local campaign group. We also heard from supporters of senate seats and city councilman, although we wouldn't be voting on those that evening.

The Clinton speech was first. A woman somewhere in her 50's spoke eloquently about the specific plans Hillary has laid out, how strong she is, how she can hit the ground running and be effective immediately upon entering office. Ok, point for Hillary. Then Barack's orator got up, eschewed the bullhorn everyone else had been using, and shouted loudly to the crowd about how Barack was all about "change" and "hope" and "unity". He spoke passionately about meeting the man on many occasions, how they had spoke in depth about how this country needs a change, and he's he most "stand-up" guy you'll ever meet. There was a comparison-reference to JFK, which I thought was a HUGE stretch, but whatever. If I have to be perfectly honest it was a lot of hot air. Then each precinct breaks up into separate rooms to discuss and eventually vote.

Our precinct meeting was in a tiny 2nd grade classroom, woefully inadquate to hold the 118 people who had shown up. I'm sure the entire night was full of fire code violations but we all went with it. The first thing we learned was that our precinct was able to send 5 delegates. They described the process very quickly about where those delegates go, and how they get wittled down over the course of many district and county meetings, but I don't remember specifics. I do remember that by the convention Colorado would have 55 delegates, hopefully our representatives would be voiced somewhere in that 55. The other important thing to note is that because we had 118 people, each delegate represented 18 people (118 divided by 5). You had to have 18 people in support of your candidate to get a delegate representative.

Then we took our first straw poll, which consisted of a show of hands for various candidates. We started with undecided which had 5, and then went to Hillary who had 13. This meant Barack had 99 supporters in that room. Wow. I guess I wasn't expecting quite the domination there. It was obvious that we were going to leave with mostly, if not all, Barack delegates. But before we were quick to judge we took a step back to remember the purpose of the caucus which is to actually try and help the uncommitted make a decision (and solidify decisions that have already been made). So then we moved to a group forum where people raise their hand and say what they do and don't like about all of the candidates. A few women there were adamant about staying uncommitted, because apparently there is a groundswell movement across the US for people to go uncommitted in order to force the candidates to be more progressive and specific with their plans. To that, I say, GOOD LUCK.

You can probably surmise that most of the people attending the caucus were passionate and opinionated about politics. Otherwise would you really make the effort to commit 2+ hours of your weekday night to go sit in a small room? So you can imagine that a few of the exchanges got pretty heated and there was a lot of eye rolling, sighing, and mumbling under breaths for some of the opinions, oops sorry facts, that were being presented. The very first comment came from a guy who basically said that he liked Hillary but he was going to support Barrack because he was more electable. That comment got about 50 nods in the room, and a whole bunch of supporting comments followed about how the Republicans would attack Hillary's war vote, her battles with Republicans over the years, her husband and her failed Health Care attempts as First Lady. There were some sheepish comments in support of Hillary but you could tell they were defeated. Well, except for one woman who passionately described how it was TIME FOR A WOMAN TO BE IN OFFICE (with her first in the air), and how the idea of smart powerful women being bitches needed to go. I wanted to raise my hand and say "I like Hillary, but honestly, don't you think she has a little bitch in her?." Discussions followed about the dream ticket of both candidates, and which person would be more likely to accept a vice president nod (we all agreed Obama).

Then another straw poll was taken to see if any of the uncommitted or Obama's had moved over to Hillary. I think she maybe gained one or two in the process. BUT they still didn't have 18 people in support, which meant it was a done deal. Until someone brought up that if all of the uncommitted's and Hillary's got together and unionized, they would have at least one "non-Obama" delegate. That seemed interesting to me. How bad did these people not want Obama? One woman said it seemed more likely for the Hillary supporters to switch to uncommitted because of those staunchly uncommitted fools and their groundswell of progressive motivation. So we re-took the vote and ended up with 14 uncommitted's, 4 Hillary's and 99 Obama's.

So all 5 of our delegates were Obama delegates and I quickly handed in my vote slip and scurried out the door.

I will always plan on going to the caucus as long as I live here, but I wish it was a somewhat less involved process. Most people I saw from my neighborhood sent only one family member as the other one was home with the kids. I feel like there might have been more participation if it was a primary. But it's interesting to think about the comments made last night and whether or not it will have a long-term effect on any decisions.

Hilarious wiener poopie

Take the 2 minutes necessary to watch this video about Jesus and the wiener poopie. You'll be thankful you did. What a slow news day that must have been!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUJ4es4cYIU

September 27th

That's my new due date! We saw a heartbeat yesterday going strong at 115 bpm. Everything looked good, although I am measuring smaller than anticipated based on my last period, but since I know when I ovulated (and conceived) the date seems exactly in line to me.

I feel like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I was teary-eyed and emotional all through my doctors appointment. My doc reminded me I am still not in the clear, but one hurdle is at least completed. My next appointment is Monday February 25. I can't wait!

We will now have a bunch of things to celebrate at the end of September. Kev's birthday, Jo and Bob's anniversary, and Bug #2.

Final round of teething

Delaney is officially showing the early break-throughs of all 4 of her last teeth. Of course they are all molars and they are all coming in together. Poor girl has a thing with rapid fire teething... one tooth doesn't come in, and the next one follows, etc. When she has "a" tooth come in it means at least 4 at once. One time she had 6 teeth coming in at once and that could NOT have felt good.

I am very glad that they are here and that it will be done in a month (or two). I am excited for teething to be over. My child is not one of those that rolls with the teething punches, so to speak. Her eating is all messed up, she has a perma-runny nose and she is far more prone to very silly little tantrums. The worst side effect, by far, is the sleep disruption. She has awakened before 6am for the last 3 days, and strongly resisted going to sleep at naps and at night. I feel bad for her but there is only so much I can do at 5am. So come on molars, get on through and we can be done.

Tomorrow is the big day for me. Courtney's Super Tuesday. The truth is I have felt pretty lousy over the last week and have definitely had some pretty strong pregnancy symptoms. But I am still cautious and wary and just hopeful that everything turns out ok. I'm excited that I FINALLY get to find out tomorrow. This has been a very long two weeks.

And I plan to go to my local caucus tomorrow evening and am prepared to stand on the Obama side. I want to go to the caucous because I have never been to one and also because I feel like it's important to get your voice out there early in the process. Primaries seem exciting to me and I feel like that's where the real election happens. So often our elections are already decided by November and this is our chance to select who we think would be the best of the choices available. I like Hillary and have respected a lot of what she's accomplished over the years. I read her book years ago and found myself drawn to her strength and determination. But she's too polarizing and I think too much of this nation dislikes her. It seems realistic to think that if she were to get the nomination it would bring out every Republican imaginable in an "anger vote". Thus, I will be on Barack's side, as I *think* he has a better chance of winning come November.

I hate my job

I really do. Ever since the prospect and hint of a new career has been put in front of me, I've detested my job. Actually we should back up a little before that. Ever since I started my job here I haven't really liked it. It hit a good high about 1.5 years into it, and now that I'm 3.5 years in it's definitely at an all-time low.

There is so much corporate-America-politicking-BS here that it blows my mind. And my boss is one of those nitpicky micro-managers that makes my hair stand on end, and not just the regular in-your-face all the time micro-managers. Sometimes those kinds of micro-managers will at least tell you they want lots of communication in order to feel sane. Like, daily updates, daily emails, daily visits, yada-yada. But mine doesn't even tell me what she needs and then a week later she panics and realizes that she REALLY needs some information from me and it's despicable if I don't have it at my fingertips. And because I am not usually a panic-button type of gal, I almost always have to ask WHY we are being required to provide such information in such a short period of time? Usually she cannot answer, and just by asking I have labeled myself a "me player" instead of a team player. And we go through this about every week. Sometimes every few days. I would say roughly 40% of the time the information she is looking for has either already been provided verbally or in a past email. But because she's so busy she doesn't remember hearing or seeing it.

I consider myself a very opinionated, occasionally passionate person. I suppose this gets transferred to a little bit of a temper when I come across people or things that are so CLEARLY out of whack that they need a good swift kick upside the head. Like people who tailgate ridiculously. Or a person who is at the front of a long left-turn line and when the light turns green they are spacing out and don't go, screwing all the people behind them. I mean, come on, you've been waiting with the rest of us to get there, you KNOW it's important to get on that accelerator as soon as it turns green. It's just common sense.

Add my boss to the list of people who could use a good shake-about. Today has just been one of those days. I came in this morning to a slew (is it spelled slough?) of emails with funny, friendly titles like:
"SEMI-URGENT -- blah blah blah"
"COME SEE ME IMMEDIATELY"
"Notes from that meeting" with the main area saying something like:
Courtney: Can you type up the minutes from our meeting on Wednesday THIS FRIDAY AM?

Ugh. I am really starting to detest corporate america. I can say that now that I know I will be leaving it soon. All you freaks can go live in all your lingo, like "low hanging fruit" and "effectively measure your ROI" and "use an iterative approach to testing". I am done with you monkeys.