What's so wrong with saying no?

I have heard about mom's who try to limit their use of the word "no" with their toddlers. There are degrees in which you can limit the use, but some outright have decided there should be other words or phrases used in it's place. I think child care centers are just as, if not more, sensitive about this issue.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I think some of this sensitivity is horse baloney. Horse shitake. Whatever you want to call it.

I understand the reasoning behind it, or at least I think I do. If you say no all day long you risk having your child desensitized to the word or concept. It's more important to explain what is behind the no rather than just say no all day long.

At Delaney's school they try to prohibit the use of the word no and instead use "no thank you" when the word no comes out of their mouth. I spent some time there last week or a particularly chaotic day and the teacher was running around saying "no thank you xxx" in response to a whole host of annoying and bad behaviors from the kids. One kid was trying to leave the room and go into the older toddler room and I saw her say "no thank you xxx we are about to go to sleep." That just didn't seem to make any sense to me. I then saw her say "no thank you" to about three other behaviors she was trying to shut down because the kids needed to focus on getting their nap gear ready. Part of me thought she might have better luck if she were stronger in her NO.

I love my pediatrician. She is up-front, honest, and a no-bull-shitake-kind-of-gal. I asked her one day how she felt about the word "no" and she said "I LOVE it!" which made me laugh. She told me to feel free and use the word when my daughter exhibits intolerable behavior.

Delaney has taken to fiddling with the oven knobs. She sees us doing it and want to imitate it. More than once she has turned off the stove or the oven (thankfully never turned it on). I saw her do it yesterday and grabbed her hand and said very firmly and strongly "NO DELANEY". She needs to know there are actions that receive a firm NO. I find myself saying no probably every other day. So I guess I do some filtering of my own and don't say it quite as much as I want to say it. But I'm not afraid to say it.