I recently realized that I generally tend towards the "tough love" mentality of getting through problems. This is in a large part due to the fact that my parents were that way, and their parents were that way. For example when Joe or I would get a cold, we would get little to no sympathy for it and were told to grin and bear it. We were given Ginger Ale, a blanket and we were expected to get over it. There were little to no check-ups to see how we were progressing, hugs to make sure we were feeling ok.
When I met Kevin I remember telling him one of my goals as a parent was to be a little more nurturing and not quite as tough love. And while I feel like I succeed at being warm, and nurturing, to Delaney I also feel like I put out a fair amount of tough love vibes as well. When it comes to playing with her food at the table, or wearing what she wants to wear, I can be quite the stickler. I don't know if that's tough love, or displine, or a mindset.
But it makes me wonder how I will be with Delaney when she get sick as a teenager, or when she faces her first problems with boys, or girlfriends, etc.
How much tough love is too much? Does tough love teach you to solve problems yourself, but not ask others for help? I don't have answers, but it's definitely interesting to think about.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tough love
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I'm another tough love type of person... I think it forces you to be independent... I'd say my mom was the best when I was sick, but I never took advantage of it and in almost every other area she was pretty good at the "tough love" approach and I tend to do the same with Audrey. I'm sorry, but I just don't want a whiny, clingy, timid kid... I don't have time for it, though I also consider myself to be warm and nurturing as well, so I think a good balance is probably key! But just wanted to tell you I agree with you!
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