The summer of love

We have been having a wonderful summer. Aside from Kev being gone for two straight weeks, and him being sick for a good portion of the summer, our summer has been one of the best in recent memories. My stress load lifted by about 3000% in May and it's made life pretty peachy around our house.

Our days have been filled with painting, chalk, bike rides, trips to the pool, Meadow Music concerts, Pearl Street fountain trips, dinners out and about, picnics in the backyard, games of catch, playdates, runs, hikes, lazy mornings, coffee (for me, obviously), gymnastics, soccer lessons, the farmers market, dog fetch outings and so much more. And I can do it all by myself and WITHOUT Kevin.

Sometimes our days are so wonderful it's all I can do to not start pinching myself and wondering when it will be over? When the snow comes? I have to knock on wood after I type just about every one of these words, but Delaney has been a downright lovable and fun little girl all summer long. Her tantrums and fits have been fleeting and manageable. She has been saying please and thank you more. She gives out hugs all the time. She agrees. Really. She has agreed to do *some* things that I suggest. I'm not kidding... really... one or two times I have suggested a plan and she willingly went along! She tells me repeatedly how much she loves me and how much she loves spending time with me. Just the other day we were laying in her bed with the lights out, as we often do just before her bedtime, and she told me emphatically that "today was a great day, Mommy". I know that seems simple. But I know she meant it and really DID enjoy her day. She and I are having actual, real, genuine fun together. I have come to the conclusion that I'm not sure she and I have ever really had longterm continual fun together. Ever. I guess it's sad to admit it, but it's true.

I tell ya, this parenting is something else. One day you are losing your mind from fighting the 100th battle of the day about the color of a barrette, or lack of barrette, or too many barrettes, or whatever F'ING frustrating quirk about a darn barrette. I mean really... when you get pregnant and think about having kids, you generally plan to lose a lot of your free time. But you really don't picture yourself fighting about barrettes. Over. And over. And over. Again. I really don't even care about barrettes. I just want her to MAKE UP HER NETTLESOME LITTLE MIND ALREADY AND LET'S BE DONE WITH IT. If it's not the barrettes, it's the cereal, the bowl, the cup, the clothes, the book, the TV show, the way to the park, the right side of the blanket, the right animal, place to eat, and, well, I think you get the drift. Mindblowing, mindnumbing, mindexhausting and just plan losingyourmind. More than one occasion I have sat down with my head in my hands and been downright devastated about the life of battles that lay ahead of me. Battles that I don't care about, don't want to fight, and just want to be over already. Just TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT and let's go have fun. (Phrased that way it's probably enticing enough to make any kid jump for what you want. Right?)

Then you get a little window into the future and a little breather from the insanity. I know "they" say often that you are not given more than you can handle, and lately I feel like they just might be right. Just when I think I'm at the end of my rope, someone throws me another couple feet of it as if to say "here... we see you are working your *ss off, why don't we cut you some slack." It wasn't a moment too soon, really, as in May I felt like I might have to move out, assume a new name and never return to our house in Boulder. You could see new wrinkles developing in my face. I felt like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. In body and spirit. But the gods of "we're going to screw with you up until you blow" have quieted and we are having an amazing summer. I will always remember the summer of 2009 as one filled with laughter and fun. THIS is what I pictured. And I'm actually getting it. Could it be true?

Don't get me wrong. I still can't pick most things that touch or come across Delaney in a given day. Just yesterday I said "ok, I'm going to pick out your outfit for tomorrow" and Delaney RUSHED over to the closet with lightning speed and said "no, no, no, Mommy, don't you know I am the only one who picks out the clothes?" Ah yes, of course, and to which I replied "sigh, just once, can I pick out your outfit?", and she said "one day, Mommy, but not anytime soon." Which is fine with me I suppose as long as we can get on with it and start having some fun. :)